Now Playing: Northern freakin' Exposure, for all I care.
Current Mood : Righteous Indignation
I've about had it. There's not much more I can take here. I'm busting my azz to give them privacy, respect, and space...and they keep pushing it ! And me.
I'm sorry to keep dragging on and on about my PILs, but I'm about to lose it. Beloved Hubby and I made time for each other this morning, going out for a nice breakfast and airing some of our issues. He's got a bunch of ‘em, too, but he's been aware of their crap since childhood. For me, this is all new crap.
Remember the stupid drama I so-subtly alluded to back on Christmas Eve ? As the whole mess began, it was established that the PILs were going to stay at Aunt and Uncle's. They have more room and a more retired lifestyle. But as the crap began to circle the drain, MIL cried to us that Uncle told them he'd cease his medical treatments if they came to live with them again. Uncle's pretty close to the thin black line as it is, with treatment. At the time, Beloved and I were upset that Uncle and Aunt would say such a thing - it was waaaay out of character, and almost seems abusive - that would hurt much more than a simple, ‘Sorry. Can't do it'. So we offered to let them stay here.
The offer was initially gently refused, then a day before they arrived bed and baggage, they said they'd rather be here. Turns out that MIL told a bit of a lie. The center where Uncle gets treatment is shutting down. He'll have to travel to get it, and he doesn't really want to. It had NOTHING to do with the PILs staying with them. And she knew it. She decided at the last minute she'd rather be here, since Aunt and Uncle imposed rules on them last time, and she wanted a chunk of the sympathy pie she thought the rest of the old women in the family were getting from all this stupid, meaningless drama. On Christmas freakin' Eve. Unbelievable.
But wait ! There's more ! Remember when they told me they'd have to start paying roughly most of what they get from Disability to her medical insurance and prescriptions ? Let's say, for numbers, they get US$750./month. They told me that her med stuff would cost $500./month. They told Beloved it'd be $300./month. Why ? Sympathy, Beloved thinks. And so we wouldn't expect anything from them, not even the truck payments they promised to resume months ago.
And there's more than that. Tonight, I was helping Beloved in the Shop. Mostly to keep him company, but I was holding boards for the saw, stacking stuff, etc. FIL comes down, watches for a few, and I pull on a board, a definite no-no. Beloved snaps at me a bit, and FIL swings into high, bumps me aside, and starts doing what I had been. NO one asked him to. I stood there, hardly believing this. He'd promised all day to help Beloved, but instead sat around with MIL, watching (all together now !) Northern Exposure all morning. And he shows up now to help, at 7pm ? And pushes me aside ?
Oh, he evidently caught the look on my face, because he started to apologize, but I was just not interested in hearing it. This is the man who told me I needed to grow up - and two years later, helped himself to one of my surgery medicines. I'm just not big enough to forgive him for either yet, and both come to my mind most times I look at him. I locked myself in the Lab and wondered what the h#ll happened to my life. This ended in yet another discussion between Beloved and me, and I'm at my rope's end. He's not faring any better, but at least we're on the same side. The one for getting them the ^%$# out of here ! I still don't know why they need sympathy so bad. I haven't felt it for either of them in years ! I've been nodding and smiling all this time. Which, evidently, was a bad thing to do.
The few rays of sunshine today came from the fact that they're supposed to hear about FIL's Disability claim within 10 days. He's hoping it'll be enough to get the house back, but Beloved and I seriously doubt the bank's willing to even talk with them every again. I know the feeling.
So, as today ends, I actually feel better, because I don't have to pretend anymore. Here or at home. I've tried so hard to respect them, but I don't think I need to now. I actually worried that they'd read this and get upset. Don't care about that now, obviously ! Maybe I'm every bit the selfish witch I sometimes fear I am. But some toads are just toads, no matter what you invest in ‘em. I've been trying to not let their issues/behavior/events affect what I do, but they keep involving themselves. Well, they can keep trying, because I'm disengaged. Far as I'm concerned, they're here, but I choose not to deal with their crap.
So. How was your day ?
I refuse to say anything since you've mentioned they may read this, but just know I feel for you. I don't doubt that they are good people, I just doubt how bad off they really are. Ugh I really want to say more but I don't want to get you in trouble with my ideas with them potentially reading your blog or other family reading it. I'll just stick to my original advise. Lay down the law. It seems that rules are their kryptonite, so use it and abuse it if you have to. And stay firm to it. And when the deadline is up they need to move along. I'd also demand some rent to go towards household bills. Its not fair for hubby to have to pay for it all on his own when they have money coming in. 100-200 dollars from them would be more than fair I think. But I am glad hubby is on your side in this. Now you Dorrie need to relax. This isn't good on your body and especially not your heart. You have a son who needs you so you can't go making yourself ill over this. I know its easier said than done, but just try hon. They are older people who are not going to change. Just roll with the punches for now, things will work out. I know everyone says that, but I really believe things will work out. Hugs.
But have a look if you get bored, angry, or both. Something extra to help get your mind off things. 
