Now Playing: everyone else being OK but me.
Current Mood : Variably explosive and weepy.
I honestly don't know if I can go through this anymore. They're always here, I don't feel like I have a way out, and much as I'd like to just hide away, I can't. As soon as my footfalls hit the linoleum, there they are. I'm so scared I'm gonna let my words fly - and they'll hurt - that I can't say anything so I smack on this idiotic smile and pretend. I don't know how much longer I can. At first, I thought this living arrangement would only be for a few weeks, but...they're talking months. Last time they moved in with a relative it was for over a year !
I tried to focus on other things. I slept more, and was on the computer more than was healthy, but I'm still tense. I don't want to leave while they're still here. I can hear that darn cat yowling like he has been since last night, and I want to yell that he can take his four paws back to their old house if it's so hateful here. Among other things I wanna yell...
I know I'm letting my anger rule. I know I'm over-emotional. But I also know that this is my worst nightmare, and I seem to be the only one who has a problem with it. Talked with Beloved Hubby tonight, in whispers so they wouldn't hear, but he just wanted to give me platitudes about anger and letting things go. He's probably right, but who wants to hear words engraved on plaques over at Hallmark when you're about to explode and no one cares ? I'm really starting to worry about my marriage and my own sanity...
Sorry. I'm still not much on dolls right now. I'll try to get a grip, but right now...(sigh)
