Current Mood : A bit wired and tired.

Spent on dolls so far this week : $ 13.12

Curtains are finished ! Finally got ‘em right this time. At least the fabric was only $2.  a yard, and there was plenty of it. I got lots of cutaway, too. Cheap-serged the two new half-yard pieces I bought Monday while I was at the machine - a pretty floral and a denim-look blue cotton, both from the dollar-a-yard table. Any time I can find thin cotton that'll look like denim, I snag it. I can find denim at any one of a few thousand yard sales, but the usual thickness makes it hard to sew in doll-scale. Chambray makes an excellent substitute, and it's nice and thin and easy to sew. Usually pretty cheap, too !

While I was at Mal-Wart...I went down an aisle I rarely frequent (Home Décor - I got plenty of décor already !) and found the posters ! I was wondering where they were. Had a pleasant fifteen minutes going through them all. Selected two, a photograph of a European street, and a ‘bad impressionistic' (Beloved's opinion) of another street scene. It's what's behind the still-awaiting-reroot Casey in today's image. It's so hard to find images in scale ! When I do, I buy ‘em right up. These posters are 16" x 20", $3. each, plenty of space to pose dolls in front of, and crop away flash bounce, etc. I was just messin' around with both of ‘em for test photos, but this one looked so good, I had to share it.

The jacket Beloved bought Friday has a broken zipper. While trying to fix it, more of it broke, so I'll be replacing it soon. He's so practical. When I kvetched about taking half the jacket apart to remove the old zipper and put in a new one - it's a lot of work, possibly beyond my skill  - he said I could just sew the new one on top of the old one. We'll see how that works out !

It's funny to me, because I had a bagload of zippers, bought from just about everywhere, but mostly a huge misc. lot dirt cheap from eBay. Most of these things are 30+ years old, still in the packaging. The one the jacket's getting is darn near vintage, but it's brand new and works much better than the current one. About three years ago, I learned how to do zippers in doll clothes, and bought tons. Thing is, not many patterns call for zippers, and even then, they can be tricky. Seeing all those spread out on the floor and ironing board made me realize I  need to work with them some more. And soon !

Dearest's school concert was this afternoon and tonight. Part of his particular brand of autism is a hyper-sensitivity to sound. So you can image how much fun this was for him and various others. At least it's done with for this year ! And I got everything to the other homeroom parent, so I'm happy. Now all I have is our anniversary next week and the V-Day school party the next day. Then, maybe, I'll get a doll break ? I'm still hopeful and happy, which is better than I was last month !

Well, mostly happy. Haven't had much doll time, and the sewing I've done is home stuff. I need to get going on those reroots, too. Poor Casey - I need to rename her, I already have a Casey (My Size Barbie), and ‘Becky' doesn't quite seem to suit her yet. D'ya think ‘Cynthia' would work ?

Oh, and stop me before I do it - I really *really* want a Dancerina doll. Not ‘Dancerella'. Dancerina. Two feet tall, Mattel, late 60s, blonde, with a face that sooo reminds me of Timey and Dottie. If I'm lucky, I'll find one for $25. shipped...and I don't want to want another doll, but I do. At least it gives me something new to hunt for !

PS - Thanks for the anniversary wishes, Michelle ! We tied our gordian knot on Feb. 13th, so we wouldn't be cliche. Plus, the Magistrate's office was open Friday, 13 Feb 1998, but not the next day. Yup, courthouse wedding ! Maybe we took the 'not cliche' theme a bit too far...

Manda, if I lose the bid I have that ends in a couple days, I'll come get'cha. It's for Simplicity #7737, and has jumpsuits. Won't it be hilarious if I did all that work to make Leia one when there's been a pattern for it since 1976 !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:35 PM CDT

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Current Mood : A bit winded, but pretty happy. 

Current Image Notes : Guesting is a Clone Trooper figure of Dearest's, taking aim at a poorly painted gumball machine cat miniature. I bought the poor kitty today, for 50c, and had to laugh at the awful paint job. I mean, the ones wired to the machine's display card weren't exactly precise painting at its finest, but this one's really, really bad. I almost feel ripped off ! Had the cat on the desk, amid several toys and bits of Lego, and this image just happened. Poor kitty ! What he needs is a paint makeover ! (evil grin)

The usual run-around scurry after the weekend. As with any home improvement, the new bits look fantastic, the rest of the house got trashed in the effort. Busted butt for three hours, but at least now, I'm not ashamed of the living room. It took me over an hour to vacuum, too.

And this'll make you laugh. The curtains I made yesterday needed just one more slightly wider panel, then they'd be done. I dutifully bought the half-yard of fabric (and two more pieces for doll sewing. (sigh) I'm hopeless ! ) and got to work. The other pieces were 13" wide by 16" long. The new piece needed to be 16" wide. Guess what happened ? That's right - I cut it 16" wide...but 13" long ! D'oh ! Adding more fabric to the back didn't help much. It faces the sun, so the seam showed through, big and proud. Well, back to Mal-Wart tomorrow for another half-yard ! Don't be surprised if my dolls suddenly start wearing unbleached muslin...LOTS of unbleached muslin...

This Friday is the big Bingo fundraiser for Dearest Son's school. As homeroom parent (see if I EVER do this again !), it fell on me and another mom to prepare a theme basket as a prize. So while out doing grocery hunting, I scouted around for stuff, hoping I could squeeeeeze enough out of the budget to do a decent job. Then called the other mom. Turns out, she's already done it, loves doing that stuff. She only needed some sort of plastic wrap for it and some ribbon. Whoo-hoo ! Since tomorrow is Dearest's music class recital - that school keeps me hoppin' ! - I'll drop that off to her then. Plus a big candy bar or two, our theme is ‘Dessert Lovers'. Big chocolate bars are always kid magnets.

What a relief ! Of course, Bingo is Friday, recital is tomorrow, and Valentine's is next Thursday. We also have our 10^th wedding anniversary Wednesday. Whoever said ‘February is the cruelest month' must have been thinking of my car Molly's engine ! I'm gonna be ‘Dorrie Everywhere' for the next couple of weeks !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:35 PM CDT

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Current Mood : busy !

Current Image Notes : New pattern ! More below !  

I did indeed make curtains today - sort of like the ones that decorate the top edge of door frames between kitchen and living area in Japan. Short squares that sometimes overlap. Ours has two sheer panels (cutaway from the sheers I sewed Friday !) underneath for privacy. Both the super-simple rectangles and the hemmed sheers are stapled to a wooden frame made by Beloved Hubby, then drilled into the wall. Miscalculated the width, so I have to go back to Mal-Wart for half a yard more to finish, but when new curtains only cost $6.50,  yer still ahead of the game ! That's four sets of trashed miniblinds so far !

I went ahead and ordered the download of that one pattern I wanted - and I have a bid on one of the remaining two. For all the runnin' and sewing I've been doing, I figured I was worth the $4. reward ! the payment and transfer went smoothly and quickly, it's a good quality scan (bonus ! I don't have to scan it, it's already done !) and I hope to sew something next week from it. Seller just doesn't have a wide selection. Let me know if you want me to post her link. Remember the Francie pattern I was thinking of getting ? It's sad, but I've already found a place who sells it cheaper. I have no loyalty.

Helped Beloved with a variety of small things, and before I knew it, the day was over. I barely had time to even look at the new pattern. But, hey, I got it !

And someone else got stuck with a lot of ‘em for $38. (plus $5. shipping !). Glad I bowed out at $20. !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:35 PM CDT

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Current Mood : Cheerful

Current Image Notes : This is a pattern I snagged from a thrift store a while back. When the're 25c, it's hard to resist a nice image ! And a bit of curiosity - how'd that Lubbock pattern end up here ? Promise to have the February Disney Princess calendar page up soon - I just haven't had an hour and the computer at the same time to do the image editing !  

Beloved was back to work today, so I had it mostly to myself ! I'd promised to take Dearest shopping - he's earned several coupons to redeem for a treat - so he decided to go to Mal-Wart. The Indiana Jones motorcycle Lego set that wasn't interesting the week after Christmas was high on his list this week, and luckily, it was in stock. He also scored a die-cast Jedi Starfighter, complete with hyperspace ring, in bright orange.

I found the Barbie ‘My Home Barbecue' set, the one that's got many of the doll boards atwitter with Want. It's nice, attractively packaged, and there's lots of fairly-accurately colored food props, but for $20., I put it back. Didn't want the doll, already have several picnic tables, and I'd have gladly paid $10. for just the grill, that wasn't an option. And I already have several smaller grills, and directions to make others out of tin cans. Still, it was tempting...until I thought about what I already own !

Got home and looked up various doll patterns online. Found a lot I liked, levied a bid twice what the current one was. And got outbid three hours later. Forget it, it's not worth that much. I've been saying that a lot today ! Went through my pattern catalog - and updated it with the ones I found at that thrift store late last year - and realized that one of the reasons I bid I had already !

There was one special one there, one I've never seen before. It seems to be fairly rare on eBay, but I soon found a site offering a download of it for just $4. I'm considering that ! There's also a Francie pattern there, for $6. Thinking of that one, because most of the female dolls I still need to sew for have petite bodies. I'm gonna try the ‘Happy To Be Me' patterns I got from the pattern exchange first, though. Might as well use what I have before going out for more !

After that, it's all guys ! I've hardly sewn a thing for the male dolls, which is a shame. I got interested in doll sewing because I couldn't find male doll clothes I liked at Mal-Wart or TRU. Mattel stuff is always high-water, usually with a ‘Ken' decal or ‘Barbie' in the print, and frequently, ya see that awful ‘jumpsuit' type outfit of shirt and pants fused together. But the truth of the matter is, it's more fun to sew for the girls !

The other pattern I really want - but stunningly, don't already have - is the one made for Dusty dolls. Since Princess Leia has the same body, I'd really like to try it out. Download service doesn't have that one.

But the whole thing got me thinking. Since part of the Challenge is trying patterns I never sewed before, it'd be a good idea to mark the ones I've tried. So I wafted through the catalog again. Well, that was depressing. It didn't take very many stickers to do that. I have sooo many, never touched. And here I am, lookin' for more. (sigh) I thought my fabric addiction was bad...

At least I lost the auction. At last glance, it was down to two bidders, both newbies who're trying to ‘win' by bidding one dollar at a time. My eBay auction philosophy is to bid my limit and walk away. I lose a lot, but rarely overspend ! And most of the time, I'm glad of both !

Looks like I'm sewing dining area curtains tomorrow. Beloved's planning on making the valence in the Shop, along with the wainscoting. He's determined to use that router every chance he can. I can't complain - I get a much-improved home and it's a lot cheaper than buying ready-made. Plus, it's more of us in it !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:35 PM CDT

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Current Mood : Basking at the end of a great day...

Spent on dolls today : $5.37

Today, everyone, I just goofed off. I got laundry done and helped Beloved work on my car and the PIL's van. They were just gonna leave it there, but we bought a battery and got it here. The main problem was its racing high engine - turned out an idle device was stuck open with crud. $63. part and twenty minutes later, it's like new. Beloved wants to use it to transport work supplies in bad weather. We'll switch the title and papers over next month - or whenever we have the cash, the PILs said we could have it back - so it's great for us. I drove this thing during Dearest Son's year in Kindergarten, and it was a decent vehicle, but that idle was a problem.  I spent $100./month in gas, and barely drove anywhere but to school and back, it was too expensive to go on jaunts like I do now.

My car's doing well. Her alternator, once removed, tested out fine at the parts shop, so he put it back in. It's either the wiring or a bad alternator connection, Molly's doing fine now. I don't have to charge her battery all the time now. Hope she stays that way !

Beloved's a bit worried about being home so much. It's true that when I got Honey, I gots no money, but, heck. I'm glad he's having a chance to do other things besides work (he admitted last week he was overworking himself so he wouldn't have to deal with PILs and me upset at PILs), and the bills are more or less paid for the month. Even straightened out the crossed wires with the hospital bills today. Things are looking up on that front ! So I'm happy.

He also asked me to sew up the sheers, he'd make the curtain rod brackets in the Shop. Done and done ! Last year, I ‘bought the bolt' of some dollar-table brown/cream sheer fabric - 8 yards and some change - as we'd intended to ditch the mini-blinds and hang curtains in our under-lit living room. Found curtains cheap in the package at a thrift store, so I sewed a couple straight lines, and instant sheers for ‘em ! Our living room looks much better now - and brighter ! Sometimes it's sooo great to know how to sew !

He's invited me to go through all his leftover paint and select one - or five ! - for the Lab. Last weekend, he textured the living room and dining area walls, and painted ‘em this week. Just beautiful. And I think we've settled on a new lighting fixture for the dining area, too. Now, if I could just decide which of the 3000 partial gallon cans and five-gallon buckets of color I want...

After all that work - thank Everything it was a day off for him ! (grin) - we decided to relax with a few movies. Rental place is right next door to GoodWill, so... He found a winter coat he likes - nice and warm, but just worn enough so that work stains on it won't be a tragedy. I found a little toiletries cabinet that looked just about right for either Barbies or Elphie. Here's one on eBay - http://tinyurl.com/yt4gur -  just like mine. It's about 11 inches tall (Elphie may need a block of wood under it), and came with four of the six toiletries, but I didn't care about them anyway. I just wanted the cabinet ! $5., and I may stain it someday. Put in a few extra shelves. Possibilities are always endless...

For a day that didn't see me do much, I'm awfully tired. I'm gonna hafta see ya'll tomorrow ! And thanks for the complements on the lace dress. I really like it, too !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:34 PM CDT

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Current Mood : Happy ! 

Wheee ! I got to end January with a BANG ! It's like the fireworks of success ! I managed a lace overlay, not once but twice ! What'cha think ?

Lilly (Rose Barbie, 2001) is wearing the bodice I sewed from Denise Devoto's "To Have and To Hold" pattern, featured in Autumn ‘07's Barbie Collector. It's the only issue I ever bought of that magazine, mostly because the lace overlay intrigued me. The small inset image is part of the pattern, to show you what it's supposed to look like. It went together well, all three layers. I thought it even looked pretty good for a first effort ! Only problem was, there was no way it'd close in the back. It was about a half-inch shy of doing so. The rounded bottom edge even fit over the hips, beautifully...it just didn't overlap.

Well, shoot. Looked at the directions, this time reading the "Materials" box. Since I wasn't planning on sewing the skirt, and I was using leftover cotton in a much loved design - only scraps remained, so I had to get creative in cutting the pieces out ! - and lace from a girls' thrift store dress, along with worn-thin pillow ticking for lining, I kinda skipped over the ‘1/3 yd silk' part. I shoulda read it more carefully. The pattern is designed for the 2002 TNT body and SilkStones, not the 1966 body I was trying to squeeze into it. And I had not one 2002 body. The ‘belly button' body was too big in the hips to fit it, and the smaller-body dolls like teen-Skipper body Velma swam in the thing.

Darn. I thought I'd done a decent job on it, and wanted to save it. So I used hooks and eyes as closures, recycled from a yard-sale bra. That gave it just enough to fit snugly, and would be hidden in the back. I plan on extending the back of the original pattern to fit the classic 1966 body, probably this weekend. I really liked the pattern and the results, and want to use it again !

With that done, it needed a skirt or something. So I pulled up a straight skirt pattern from Doll Shop Deluxe and tried the same technique on that. Hooo-ah ! Again, I had to get creative on the cutting part, and forgot the lace had a definite nap (it only goes one way - you could tell if it was cut upside down) and cut it sideways. Oh, well. The point of this whole exercise was to learn the technique, so having a useable garment was a bonus.

And my first denim-and-brown-lace attempt some years back wasn't far off. I just didn't baste the lace to the fabric before sewing it ! That's really about all there is to it. Cut out yer pattern piece in fabric and again in lace (plus lining if ya want it).  Ironing the lace and material together helps bond it a bit, then ya baste the lace and fabric together, within the seam allowance, both with the right sides facing up - like you'd want to see it on the finished item. From there, the lace and fabric are one piece, and you sew the garment normally. Wow. About all I did wrong back in the day was trying to hold the lace and denim together without basting. And, predictably, it shifted and screwed up. This one went beautifully.

Decided to leave the skirt's waistband plain, so it'd be a natural contrast at the waist. Personally, I think it came out all right - sort of like a bridesmaid's dress for summer, that actually *could* be worn again ! I'm lookin' around, trying to find suitable overlays to try. No one says it always has to be lace ! I'm examining tulle, netting, sheers...all sorts of new possibilities just opened up ! And I don't need to restrict myself to just that one bodice either - I can do this to any pattern !

So I'm proud and happy. Not much else has changed - oh, I had a tiff with a hospital bill collector, who didn't know I'd already straightened most of this mess out already - but I hope I have.

Oh, and I forgot to tell ya'll - I got fasteners sewn on just about everything ! Did it last week. And I think all that repetitive snap-fastener sewing has given me the tools I needed to make that bit of  hand-sewing less visible. That's the one part of my sewing that hasn't improved much over the years, my fasteners/closures always look bad. Chief reason I don't sell my stuff. But just maybe I've figured that out. Time will tell ! Ya can hardly see the snaps' sewing on this one, but that's mostly due to the lace camouflage !

And just think - if I hadn't been so lazy and put that off, and did them all along like I'm supposed to, they'd still look awful. Had to learn by doing it over and over and over and over. Sometimes, there's something to be said for lazy procrastination !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:34 PM CDT

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Current Mood : Happily in stitches !

Here's the back side of the blank book journal I bought yesterday. Kind of the same as the front, but I liked the description ! What a great idea, Manda ! Anybody wanna give it a go ? I like to give ya'll a nice image to look at while you're reading this disjointed mess, as a sort of reward. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm gonna do with that pretty

Ariel fabric now that the images have been scanned and posted. I mostly got it to share with ya'll ! Maybe I can center one of the Ariels to make a nightgown or something...

Michelle, you are so right about the exercise. I hauled the twig-branches away today, and got two more scratches on my feet - I gotta quit wearin' those old, busted ballerina flats for yard work - but felt great after the blood got moving. I'll probably sleep like a brick tonight !

Got to thinking - look out, Universe ! - about what I wanted to do to keep my mind off things I can't change. Decided I needed a challenge, something I've either never done before or never completed successfully. Ever since mentioning Barbie Collector in yesterday's entry, I kinda wanted to look at the single issue I bought. Hmm...it even has a pattern in it, for a lace-overlay wedding gown. (Autumn 2007 issue)

While I'm not a ‘big dress' kinda girl, I can always use a good bodice. And my one attempt at lace overlay was a disaster ! Somehow that oversized brown lace over faded, worn denim didn't look as funky as my mind saw it ! And I didn't have it pieced together well, since I went after it with the happy ignorance of someone truly clueless of even basic sewing. No photos exist, it was about two years before I started the site or even had access to a digital camera. It was truly ugly, and if I did have a photo, I'd share it, so you'd know not all my efforts are successful - especially back when I was just beginning to sew. I made some real horrors, lemme tell ya !

So, here was something I'd never completed successfully, and never really did before, since that early effort was just a ‘let's sew it together and see what happens' directionless trial. Scanned the pattern, but didn't increase the skirt as directed - I just wanted to try my hand at the bodice first. If that worked, I had a few hundred different things I could do with it, without attaching a big bridal train to it.

Unfortunately, I didn't get beyond cutting out the fabric, lace, and lining, and getting ‘em all Fray-Checked. Beloved Hubby was home today, and I tend to run errands with him and help out when I can at his Shop. With the PILs here, time for just us two - our us three, with Dearest Son - is pretty rare, so I tend to jump on it. We had a nice lunch out, and did a bit of home-improvement window shopping. We both really, really hate our dining area lighting fixture, so it was fun to daydream about other sets.

Back home, I read over directions for the bodice while waiting for Dearest's bus. I used super-thin cotton (it used to be pillow ticking, nearly worn out !) for lining, but the pattern calls for tulle (netting) to reduce bulk. I can understand that, but the thing has four darts. I'd love to see someone mark and sew in darts on tulle.

What I'd really love to do is make a replica of Princess Tutu's costume. It's yer basic romantic tutu, in white. A quick Google image search will show it to you. Wonderful anime - I was in tears several times. How's this for a teaser : Little duck transforms into a clumsy ballet student, who becomes Princess Tutu -to restore the pieces of a prince's broken heart. If this bodice works out, it's about half the costume !

Wish me luck ! Hopefully I'll have an image of the sewn bodice tomorrow !  

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:34 PM CDT

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Current Mood : Vastly improved !

Spent on dolls today :  $5.58

Spent on fun 'me' stuff : $4.29,  plus lunch.

Well, when ya'll are right, you're right. After a lengthy discussion with Beloved Hubby last night, we've decided to give them some house rules and a date to be moved out on. Probably the end of March. Now that they know family can't dig them out of this one, and they can't stay here - MIL was heard to mutter, "We need to leave as soon as possible" last night - it's on them to do what they gotta. I admit my guilty conscience (or at least the bookkeeping system I use in place of one) is barkin' at me a bit, but Beloved says I've done nothing wrong to them - but I've whaled heck on myself enough already.

So, with a few bucks, I took myself out today ! Found the Rebel Scout Speeder, an inexpensive bit of Star Wars Lego Dearest Son didn't yet have, easily at TRU. I then stood and walked around the doll section for nearly an hour, but didn't buy anything. The ‘Pivotal' Fashion Fever dolls were tempting, but nothing really seemed exceptional. If I liked the dress or outfit, it was on a blonde doll with a head mold I didn't really like. And if I liked the doll, I didn't like her outfit, or the doll herself was more ‘eeeh' than ‘wow'. And right now, it's gotta be a ‘wow !' for me to part with the bucks. So I got the Lego and left.

On a whim, I checked the Hallmark next door. There's no way they'd have that little tiny Barbie house ornament still ! Much less on markdown or anything. Well, I was pleasantly surprised to find that they had three of ‘em - at 80% off ! They also had the Barbie ‘Spa Day' and ‘Little Black Dress' ornaments, but I didn't really want those. All the ‘doll' ornaments were gone, but I was so thrilled to get that dollhouse one - for just $3.20 ! Also found a ‘Do It Yourselfer' one - a tiny workbench with paint, tools, and a ruler - that would be perfect for Beloved's desk, so I snagged it, too !

After that, the Barnes & Noble on the other side of TRU got my time. Barbie Collector didn't have much of interest - it was still the Christmas issue, and I don't need to know how to restyle a vintage ponytail right now. It's in several of my old Millers Fashion Doll and Barbie Bazaar magazines already. I think the spring issue is the swan song for BC, which is a shame, it didn't get much of a chance. Then again, I only bought one, so...

Found a...unique graphic art (read : comic book) version of Star Wars, called Clone Wars. I can only assume it's from the animated series of the same name. From what I can tell, the animation is worse than that of Droids and Ewoks, back in...well, later than my day, but within memory. But I knew - and as it turned out, correctly so - that Dearest Son would love it.

Which brings me to today's interesting image. It's the cover of a blank-book journal that was on the green spot = $2., blue spot = $1. table, with a blue dot. I just couldn't resist ! The pages are sprinkled with comments like "It's a sin to look this good", "Experience Required", and "There was an air of expectation in the room". It probably got the boot due to the creases on both front and back covers, but to me, that added to its appeal. Mine ! You get the back cover image tomorrow, promise !

And, rounding off the day, I made a rare visit to Michael's crafts. Not being much into beading or scrapbooking, Michael's has little to offer me, except browsing. But I found a string of green glass beads, shaped like five-point stars. At $3., I couldn't resist. They're too big for dolls, so, darn. Guess I'll have to make some jewelry for me ! Also found a package of three ‘big gulp' type miniature sodas that'll work for both Barbie and Elphie for $2.

Came home and played a bit, and hope to have a photo of that miniature Barbie ornament soon. I've already removed the hanging loop from the accompanying ‘doll' head. I'm considering taking a brown sharpie to her blonde pagegirl...

Picked up fallen branches while waiting for Dearest's bus. A day's just that much better with a little exercise...lugging around tree limbs...in 40mph winds...Oh, yeah ! I felt better, and knowing I got it done so Beloved wouldn't have to made it tops. I felt so much better about pretty much everything.

And you're all right. Thanks for all your encouragement ! I had no idea so many sweet people read this mess o' mine ! Yup. Past time for me to move on and quit being the lobster in a trap. Y'see, lobsters can easily get in and out of traps. But if there's several in there, and one tries to leave, the others pick him/her to shreds. Time for me to bug out of this anger trap and not look back !

And get back to the business of dolls !

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, 2 May 2011 2:33 PM CDT

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Current Mood : Just keep reading...

Sorry, everyone, for pulling another vanishing act on you. It's been really rough around here, and I just couldn't sit down and write. Hasn't gotten any better today, but I'm tired of letting a couple of screw-ups muck up my life.

I'm referring to the ILs. I'm about to lose it. Here's the brief : they didn't get his SocSec disability. The rest of the family refuses to help them financially anymore, which I heartily agree with. Unfortunately, they still expect us - Beloved and me -  to buy a trailer and hook up power and water in the backyard for them - and pay for it, of course. And today, FIL used a suicide threat to get money out of Beloved Hubby to cover the four checks he bounced. Beloved's trying to be nice, and let FIL work out the truck payment we're still making for them in work, but FIL's been just sooo tired and weak and can't do it anymore. That and the fact that he's too busy going out at midnight for a quick toke (of not-tobacco) with someone he's related to. He then sleeps until 1pm and he's all chipper and happy.

I am not chipper and happy. I'm tired of these parasites. Yes, I said parasites, it's how I've felt about them for the last two years, and living with them hasn't changed that opinion. I'm &^%$ing tired of providing and providing and taking care of two folks who can't get off their butts to do it for themselves. The sum total of what they've done for themselves since they got here is 1)move a ton of crap from their house to our garage, our cargo trailer, and a storage facility someone else is paying for and 2) get put on a waiting list for senior housing. They're gonna appeal the SocSec, but since their previous lawyer isn't returning their calls (baby, what a big surprise), they have to engage another one. Which they haven't even begun to do, and they only have 60 or 90 days to appeal. I'll be insane or murderous by then. Last weekend, I mentioned that I'd buy donuts for breakfast Sunday morning. It's the only time they've been up before 8am since they got here - I was moving towards the car at &:30, after a nice morning of sleeping in, they were looking around for the Donut Emperor box.

MIL has degenerated into staring into space and sleeping twelve to sixteen hours a day, and faintly murmuring, "Let me know if there's anything I can help with",  which puts all the responsibility for her action/inaction on me. It's typical. And it's frustrating. I don't have enough hours in a day to do all the things I think about, and she needs me to tell her how to spend her time.

And don't get me started on FIL. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, and was starting to ‘thaw' towards them. Then I find out he's manipulated my Beloved in front of our son - and when I was out there, he fidgeted and fussed until I left. Beloved is furious and upset, which hurts and just makes me angrier.

I want them gone. Yesterday. This suicide threat crap is not gonna stand. He pulls that (*&% again, I'll give him the .45, loaded. Like everything else outta him, it's all words. I always believed that words compel action. I guess he believes that words keep you from having to act, especially when it's something stupid like keeping promises.

I'd just gotten to where I interacted with them again. Now that door is closed and bolted. Far as I'm concerned, ignoring them completely is the best thing I can do, because if FIL comes out with that fake bonhomie of his again, I'm gonna let it rip. I'm tired of hiding me and my feelings towards them. Maybe if I cheese them off, they'll get off their butts. It's a dangerous game, but I'm tired of living like this, with all this stupid drama and endless whining and feeling responsible for two older-than-me adults who act like Dearest never did.

And I no longer care who may be reading this. Let 'em read it, not one word is a lie or exaggeration. If the mirror gives you an unflattering reflection, it's up to you to change it. And I'm tired of feeling ugly for my thoughts. I doubt anyone else would manage this much better, or have any purer, sweeter thoughts.

I'm just not a Disney princess who sings her way through mean stepmothers and ill-tempered housecats. I'm real, and I want to hurt back. It's not even been a month, and I'm about at my limit here.

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

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I already wrote the bomb that's tomorrow's entry, and really, that one date says what my life's been all week. I just hate to have blank dates on that little calendar over on your left.

At least the $80./hr therapist has left me alone. After three unanswered phone calls, I guess he got the message. I was feeling pretty good about things until it all hit the fan, but I'll probably still pursue therapy. Maybe just go up to the Counseling Center and see what can be done.

It's 1pm, they're still asleep. This shouldn't matter, but...

Posted by dorriebelle at 12:01 AM CST

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