Now Playing: nothing but the pounding in my head...
Current Mood : Undefinable. Read on for details.
(sigh) Well, I feel better...physically, at least. I just...oh, #ell, I'm just gonna say it. I'm tired of having to stop and consider what even the cat will think when I do what I have to, and darn it, I'm tired of playing pussyfoot to spare everyone else and pushing how I feel aside. This is my blasted blog, I'm gonna say what I think, and be darned with whoever reads it what don't like it ! These folks have made their business my business, pretty much against my will, and if I wanna blog about it, they can go...deal with it.
The big ‘family disaster' a few weeks ago was my M&FIL's deal. They've lost their house. Well, haven't lost it, it'll just have someone else living there in a few weeks. Longer if the new owners fix the electrical systems before they move in. Anyway, where they're going and what they're doing is what's been so unsolved. They haven't decided yet. One wants an apartment in town, the other wants a travel trailer out in the woods. Big problem is, if they can't pay a mortgage, how the ^%$# are they gonna pay for either ?
I think you know where this is headed. Yup. They decided today that they were gonna come live with us ! Oh, joy ! This may end up better than the fearsome thoughts running through my head - five people in one house, with one paycheck and a small disability payment - but right now, I'm scared, upset, angry, and weary. Basically, they've worn out their welcome in the one other place they could have gone, so they're coming here. I don't know if I want to cry, scream, destroy something, or b$tch-slap somebody. Most of the drama on Christmas eve was related to this. So, goodbye nice weekend, hello dealing with a ton of crap that isn't even mine.
And I started looking for a job today. Beloved Hubby's worried - my various med conditions will make it difficult to either find a job or keep one, and he's concerned it'll shorten my lifespan. But I can't stay here all day with them, we were rather financially squeezed before all this, and I know d@mn well neither of them's getting a job. They're hoping Social Security comes through for them. I'm freakin' prayin' for it ! They're scared to death that if they find a quarter on the sidewalk, it'll jeopardize SocSec. So they're not doing squat but sit and worry over it. Somehow, this also translated into them not payin' the mortgage for five months, and I'd love to know what they did with their disability checks, but I'm afraid of the answer.
This is probably where my insomnia's been coming from, and why I can't focus on crap. Generally, I only sew when I'm happy, and I've been fearing this since a week or two before Christmas. We spent most of today moving our stuff, to give them the office space, which has a small bathroom. I'll have to go through ‘their' new space to do laundry, but it's the best we can do.
Anyway, I have a lot to do before they get here. They're moving their bedroom next weekend. Including my bedframe, a much-loved wedding present. I asked for it back a few months ago, but MIL pouted. We also get to have a family meeting, which I'm really sooooooo looking forward to. I hate setting down rules like they're teenagers, but they've already demonstrated shocking irresponsibility, and I'm just trying to protect MY family. Not them. Not anymore. I'll be as respectful as I can while they're here, but I will not be talked down to by someone who pays cable before mortgage. I don't care how old they are, if we're having to shove our lives aside to make sure their butts aren't out in the snow, the least they can do is go by the house rules. And I already know they're not gonna like three of ‘em...
Sorry. I'm transferring and projecting my anger and frustration. I need to put it somewhere else. Can ya'll be patient with me for a few (hopefully) weeks ? It's gonna be a rough adjustment ! I don't know how other cultures do it - I figure I'll be found walking naked down the middle of the road humming to myself within two months...
That, or I'll be spending a lot more time with my dolls !
