Mood:
not sureNow Playing: "Touch Me (When We're Dancing)" - Carpenters, from the MP player
It's silly, but even though I'd already bid on it, I'm still at war with wanting that Barbie case. I know I want it, but it just seems so much, and I already have excess of everything. All I know is, I'm spending waaaaay too much time thinking about it. Lost the auction I bid on, but it's fine. I bought something else instead ! I both love and hate 'Buy It Now'. Beats waiting a week to see if I 'won' the right to buy it. To be honest, I'm getting tired of getting my hopes up over and over to get sniped at the last second. Tired of the BS on eBay. I know you've been there, too.
I've been reading old doll magazines. I have some that date back to the late 70s. Back when wanting a doll or a tiny accessory entailed placing an ad, sending SASEs for sales lists, or writing a longing article and hoping for a response. Long before auction sites and doll boards made it easy to find what you wanted, as long as you could pay for it. The world I used to know seems so different, almost foreign now. I remember almost buying a Timey Tell in sad shape - torn neck, dented-in face, faded legs - because I didn't know when I'd ever find another. Of course, this was back in 1992, the Internet was still three years away from being a major part of my life. The near-perfect one I have now was $10., including shipping, off eBay, purchased in 1998.
I'm kind of on the hunt for some of my history, so I can rework it. Gonna find a Malibu Barbie - my first Barbie, a Christmas gift that infuriated my mother - and reroot her into a brunette. When I was a 70's kid, Barbie was blonde, and that was that. Always. Her 'with it' friends were never available at the TG & Y, so I never saw a brunette one. All mine, Ken and Skipper too, were blonde.
Of course, I'm brunette. And I longed for a doll - any doll ! - that looked a little more like me. Shoot, every doll I had, from Timey Tell to those decorative ones on the dresser, was blonde. Oh, wait, Crissy's a sort of red/brown haired doll, but she kept vanishing. Years after The Big Move, I found her moldering in a water-damaged box, and she disappeared again soon after. Found her again, but I haven't seen her since. The one I have now (rerooted as a brunette !) was found at a flea market. OK, so I didn't have a brunette Barbie as a kid. Princess Leia was darn near too late to my childhood, but she alone remains. All the blonde dolls went to new homes, and even today, when I clean up and donate dolls, it's easy to let the fair-haired ones go.
I sometimes think being an adult means deciding if what you wanted and didn't get as a kid still matters. And how to go about getting what your psyche kind of needs now. Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, the white case and the brunette Malibu don't matter. But in the tiny microcosm of one life, they do. I like to believe every life matters. Even if it's currently obsessed with 'Garfield', editing anime footage to music, or old doll boxes. Believe it or not, I often have real problems with connecting 'I matter' to 'What I want matters'.
I guess Beloved Hubby sensed my weird mood, because we went to the junk shop today. The place with two *huge* plastic tubs of Barbies and a mass of toys I loved to rummage through. Well, today was rather a disappointment. Almost no dolls - Barbie or otherwise - and the remote control car Dearest Son picked out, despite the 'Working' tag on it, doesn't. I did score some fabric - navy with multicolored stars, and a glittery 'night sky' piece - for 50c each.
Also found a book. Things To Make For Children was originally published in 1960. I held a revised fifth edition from 1975. Leafing through, I noted there were no doll clothes patterns, but there was the most amazing dollhouse...with a gorgeous Midge peeking from the fourth floor balcony patio ! Wow ! This was one cool dollhouse ! Hubby peeked over my shoulder, and said if I wanted it, he'd build it. So I know what I'm getting for Christmas ! :) That's about the soonest he'd have time. Yup, that book came home with us. I'm still kinda cheesed about Son's car and their almost non-existant toy section, so I doubt we'll be going back this year.
Once back home, I cheap-serged the new fabric. All of it. Both new pieces, plus six more. (sigh) I really need to quit buying material ! Good news is, the navy with stars print has enough to make me a blouse. Coool ! Rest of the evening was uneventful....but I did leaf through a few more old magazines.
