Believe me, pilgrims, I know how it is. There’s this doll, she’s driving you crazy. Maybe she’s an echo of your childhood, maybe some new girl, all you know is    ‘ ME  WANT !!  ME  WANT  NOW !!’

But there’s always various reasons you don’t already have the doll of your current dreams. Price is always a big consideration. Size and storage is another, so is rarity and availability. So, once you’ve attempted to analyze why you want this doll so d@mn desperately, given up, and just allowed yourself to start shaving bucks out of the grocery budget and gas allowance for her, you’re ready to go shopping !

It’s doubtful your dolly is at Wal-Mart. Otherwise, you’d already have her, or at least have her on layaway. And she wouldn’t be bugging you. No, this one is special. She’s thirty or fifty years old, the toy company has gone under, the ones on eBay are crap, and they’re too blasted expensive. Or she’s brand new, fabulously dressed, and the ones offered at various doll shops, both on and offline,  are too dang much money. What’s a doll person to do ?

Lots of things. Think of this doll as quarry. And you’re on a hunt. Sure, there’s other  hunters out there in the brush bush, trying to flush out the same game, but only you have certain decisive skills that will get you the trophy you have studied – yes, even with dolls, ya gotta study ! – and you're darn close to being the most knowledgable living person on the planet about this one thing. Here’s some of my tips to help you find and win the doll you want so.

1)      I know this seems basic, but KNOW YOUR TARGET ! It’s not enough to plug onto eBay, type your doll’s name, and sigh at the returned listings. What company made her ? For how many years ? How many different molds were used, and which one is your favorite ? Eye color ? Is it OK to you if she’s nude, or do you want the factory original everything ?

There’s lots to know about dolls. So check out your library or bookstore for a tome about your dream doll. There’s books on most major doll companies, doll lines, even dolls of various eras, to help ID your goal. Even eBay is a research tool – do a search of ‘completed items’ to see what the going prices are. Read the descriptions, become familiar with what’s out there.

2)      Know the specifics of your doll  – and what operating features mean the most to you. What should your doll do, if anything ? Does the version from 1973 do nothing while the 1975 one makes your family breakfast pancakes ? Does the pancake function even matter - just so long as she has the ultra-rare green eyes, not the blue ones ? Once you know your target, isolate what you want. Some folks love to fix completely broken dolls, others want factory new, even if the doll was made for only two months in 1967. It’s easier to get what you want when you know what you want.

And, as a bonus, you’ll know when a seller is BS’ing you. I once read an auction that stated they knew when their doll was made because of the mold markings. I knew darn good and well the markings were exactly the same throughout the doll’s ten-year run. If the seller’s fibbing like that, who knows what else he/she may be untruthful about or withholding ? If you know more than your average seller, you stand a much better chance of landing a great doll at a bargain price. The victor is the one who knows more. Less chance of getting suckered that way, too.

3)      Don’t settle. Yes, that one Crissy’s ponytail is missing and she has chewed fingers, and is nude without shoes, but she’s much cheaper than the more pristine one you really want. Don’t cheat and cheap yourself. If one of the whole reasons you want this doll is to play with her ponytail, and you’re not about to spend a week of your life rerooting (or a month paying for someone else to reroot), it’s much better to get what you want and will be happy with for a long time. I know. I’ve bought the same doll twice more than once, because X was cheaper and available at a yard sale, even though I really wanted Y. Ended up spending more than I should have to get what I really wanted, or had to convince myself that I really did want this now unappealing doll I was stuck with.

     It's tempting, I know. You scrimp and scant and save like a crazy person for two months. And you still have a long way to go before you have what you need. But then... here's one ! At a price you can afford right now ! Sure, she's damaged and not quite what you wanted, but... you start to wonder if you should settle...

     Don't. Be overwhelmingly joyful with the doll you've chosen to be in your life. Not kinda-sorta almost satisfied.     

4)      Explore alternate strategies. If the seller knows he/she has a vintage ’68 doll that’s in high demand and lists the doll as such, the price will usually rise accordingly. But if you have some guy who’s cleaning out Gramma’s doll room and has no idea (and no information) which doll is which, you stand to benefit from your research. Don’t just look up your doll’s name. Look up the manufacturer, or a feature. Using a Barbie example, it is possible that some folks have no idea what a #1 is worth, they just think it’s a weird lookin’ doll, and it says ‘Mattel’ on the butt. Rather than list it as ‘Vintage #1 Brunette’, they’d probably list it as ‘Old Mattel Barbie’ or just ‘Brunette Barbie’. You never know what’s behind an auction listing unless you click. And how many times have we all seen Bubblecut Barbies listed as Midge ? Use their uninformed guesses to target your search. Of course, this takes time. But working on a money budget usually involves spending more time.

Again, your research will pay off – you’ll know the doll should have eyelashes,that the outfit is not Mattel, etc., and you can decide if this one will make you happy – and at a bargain rate.

5)      Another favorite is the misspelled name. I often see ‘Barby’ auctions. Those won’t come up if you’ve searched for ‘Barbie’, unless the seller listed the name correctly in the description and you’ve selected that function. True story – got outbid three times on decent Baby Crissy dolls, and noticed that, due to the holidays, even junk dolls were selling high. I mean, dolls with eggplant colored arms and legs that should have been sold for parts only were going for over $40.. Dolls with 'minor' flaws like cut hair and no pull-string were inching towards $50. Ridiculous. I was about to give up when I remembered that when I was researching Beautiful Crissy (the teen doll), I misspelled her name, didn’t find squat, and thought she was much more rare than she was. I did a search for ‘Baby Chrissy’, didn’t find much. However, a search for ‘Chrissy’ netted me several wonderful babies to choose from, and I won a beauty for only $25. I looked several times afterward, and the only dolls selling for under $30. under ‘Baby Crissy’ were the small ones that aren’t as in demand, or ones that looked run over or missing limbs. Week before Christmas (Chrissy-mas ?), the dolls were approaching the $70. mark. The three I lost, I gave up on at $35. - $40. Just goes to show, knowledge pays.

6)      Once you’ve found some likely candidates within your budget, it’s time for – you got it- more study. Compare the auction photo to the book photos. If there’s no book, look at other auction photos. Does anything look ‘off’ ? Does the description note that there’s damage or broken features ? Is the doll missing eyelashes or fingers ?  I don’t need to tell you, if there’s no photo, forget it. Every eBay listing allows for a single photo for free, so there’s really no reason not to have one. You could always write the seller and ask, but if there’s no response or a litany of excuses, I’d let someone else take the chance. If the talking feature’s not mentioned, or the doll is only shown dressed, ask more questions. Since you’ve already invested all this time, why not go just a bit further, make sure before you make a bid. Most sellers don’t mind, they want happy, repeat customers and good feedback. The ones that do mind – watch out ! They may be hiding something. It’s better to be informed than be disappointed, ya know.

     People who sell dolls online recognize that buyers will ask lots of questions. Even folks selling ‘em from an estate or a box lot from a local auction will state ‘ask questions before’. Unless you can see that every finger, eyelash, and skin shade is in good shape, make sure. And make sure she’s the one you want.

7)  And one more thing to study – the seller’s feedback. Should be in the high 90s, especially if they’ve sold less than 100 items. Ya can’t please everybody, but more than five negatives per 100 may mean trouble. Still, the number’s deceiving. It includes both items they’ve sold and items they’ve bought. Lotsa potential thieves buy tons of items for pennies, get their feedback up in the big numbers, and start selling – then the rip-offs begin. Once they’re caught, and eBay gets enough complaints, that ID gets shut down, but there’s nothing to keep them from simply setting up a new shop under a new name.

When you're looking at their feedback, note the tab that can separate ‘left by  buyers’ and ‘left from buyers’,  and that’s a help. When you see they’ve had negatives, they’re often hard to find. The main page only says they’ve had ‘X’ number of negatives in one month, six months, more than a year ago. There was a website that helped isolate the negatives, but I can’t find it. You’d think eBay would do this, but it behooves them to encourage buyers, not discourage them with easy-to-find complaints, so your main alternative is to go through the feedback, page by page. What a PITA. But if it eases your mind, it may be worthwhile.

8) Don’t forget – eBay’s not the only game in town. Sure, it’s big, and stands the best chance of having what you seek, but there’s other alternatives. Do a search on Google.com for your doll’s name. They even have an image search now – and many times, the doll in the photo is for sale ! Look up Dolls in your yellow pages. Check out doll magazines for ads, many doll sellers have websites you can shop.

While it’s true that doll shops often have higher prices, it’s not always the case. And if buying from a stranger on eBay makes you uncomfortable, buying from an established business might make you feel more at ease. If your gas company or employer has a freebie customer magazine with classified ads, put one up describing what you want. Hey, if it’s free, take the chance – just agree to meet any potential sellers in a public place, like a local McD’s or someplace.

9)      Next big sticking point : shipping. Again, eBay has a feature that enables you to plug in your zip code and get a quote on it. It’s free, or least, it was, not too long ago. But you still find lots of auctions with no shipping quote. I’ve been taken by this before, and won’t bid on listings without shipping listed anymore, although I can just write and ask. Once you’ve paid $8. to ship a one-pound doll, only to get it and see that they’ve used a thrice-reused box with no cushioning and $2. parcel post shipping, you can’t help but feel suckered. Never assume, unless the price quoted says ‘Priority Mail’, that what you’re paying for shipping includes expedited service. If your girl doesn’t have a set price for shipping, and this is The One, ask. A buck or two for handling and bubble wrap’s not much, but as in the example above, some sellers go too far. I always consider the shipping as part of the doll’s price – the lower the shipping, the higher I can bid…other way around, too. 

10) Always read very carefully the description about shipping. Do they only ship one day a week ?  Or did they save that tidbit of info until after you bid and won ? Yes, I’ve had that happen – auction closed Wednesday night, but he only ships on Wed., and the Wed. following, he was sick – so even though I paid the hour I ‘won’, it was two weeks before he even shipped it. I could have dealt with it better if that info’d been on the auction page or on his ‘me’ page. Best are the folks who say they always ship within 24-48 hours of receiving payment. Again, ask.      

I’ve sold stuff m’self, and when I misquote shipping, often tucked the difference in an envelope before sealing the box. Sellers should know to weigh their stuff packed, so they're both ready for a sale and can offer an accurate shipping price. Conversely, if they quoted $2. to ship and clearly spent $6., it’s good form to offer to send a few extra bucks, even though you’re not obligated to. Helps your doll karma ! 

11)   OK ! You got this far. Your doll’s on the way, she’s a dream, everything you wanted. You did your homework – it was actually quite fun ! – and you can’t wait to change her clothes, make her something new, buy stuff for her, whee !  Hey  ! Is that a box on the porch ! All right !

Story should end happily here, but sometimes it doesn’t. Normally after all that work, you get the doll you wanted, leave some good feedback, and go play. But what if the doll you bought isn’t the one in the box ? She’s broken, or looked much better in the description, or really and truly isn’t the same doll. Or, everyone’s secret horror – the doll never arrives, but your money order/PayPal was certainly cashed quick enough. What then ?

I can tell you this, and it’s painfully true – eBay is there for the seller, not the buyer. They make their money from the seller, technically, since you don’t pay to bid. That’s not to say you’re hanging out to dry, although it may feel that way. Here’s some tidbits of knowledge, so you don’t do the d@mn dumb things I did.

If your attempts to contact the seller by e-mail fail, let eBay know you’re having problems. Often in your buyer’s ‘You Won’ notice, there’s an address and a phone number. From what I’ve heard, eBay doesn’t even let you sell without a phone number anymore, so if you deleted the message (always a no-no until you get your stuff and are happy with it), ask eBay for a resend. Then send a registered sign-for-it letter and if that doesn’t make it, call.

But bear in mind, eBay won’t start mediation (hah !) until 30 days after auction’s end. Unfortunately, PayPal won’t do squat for you after 30 days. So you’re kind of in a weird place. Also, if your total purchase, not including shipping, is less than $25., you can bag it now. Their fee for ‘mediation’ is $25., so you can see how that’d go. If your seller simply doesn’t answer the phone and won’t accept registered letters, you’re pretty much stuck. Your eBay rep will say, ‘Sorry ‘bout that, here’s some more info. Next !’ and that’s that.

If you used a money order payment, you can file a complaint with the seller’s local law enforcement, but the money order company won’t help you much. Pay Pal will go get your money back in most cases, but remember, you gotta file with ‘em before 30 days are up. And keep copies of every e-mail and snail mail sent, log  your phonecalls, have your evidence ready. I’ve had over 100 transactions, and while some were less than wonderful, I only got ripped off once, and it was for $15. That didn’t mean I wasn’t ticked. I called and got a belligerent teenager who knew nothing of eBay sales in her house, let too much time pass because of ‘the holidays’ to let Pay Pal do its job – here’s a bonus hint. The mail actually often goes faster during December, ‘cause they’ve hired more folks to deal with the tide of packages. So don’t let that excuse slide past 28 days ! I got patted on the head by eBay, shrugged at my PayPal, and a good chunk of it was my own fault. Keep an eye on the calendar, ask for shipping confirmation numbers, and if your doll’s not here in two weeks, start the ball rolling.

And do the rest of us a favor - leave negative feedback ! I know you fear retaliatory negatives, but what can someone say when they've ripped you and a buncha other folks off and know it ? Or if it's a single bad exchange, you kinda owe it to your fellow doll shoppers to let us know there were problems. A few negs won't sink a mostly decent seller - but enough negs will actually make eBay get off it's butt and do something about a con artist. The 'lady' who ripped me off ripped lotsa others at the same time, and eBay did squat until about ten of us left negs. Don't know if that's the standard, but it got her off eBay, at least under that name.