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Where you'll find the old 'Home Page' Essays. If you really want to.
April 2006 - Happy Springtime !
Even when you live in an apartment, it's nice to have a secluded backyard. Elphie indulges in some
cloud-watching in her pajamas, utterly relaxed and peaceful...
Until she realizes that she left her drink inside,
at least !
One of the few bad things about hammocks - once you're out of it, it's fair game ! Fiyero plays another of his little jokes
on our Elphie, even mimicking her pose.
He should count himself fortunate that she finished her juice inside, or he'd be wearing it !
(no actual Fiyeros were hurt during the making of this photo sequence - although she did flip him out a few minutes afterward
!)
February 2006 - Happy Valentine's Day
Oh, don't be surprised that Elphie's not a real Valentine's Day fan ! As she told me the other day,
with all the lovebirds around, it's hard to know which to be more annoyed at - the human ones or the feathered ones.
At
least the ones with feathers are fun paintball practice !
As she walked past the lavishly graffiti'd buildings between home and work, Elphaba was really glad she splurged on a new
winter coat. Simple, but very, very warm ! And everyone knows how much she loves Asian knot buckles - especially the elaborate
ones like these. It didn't always get this cold where she came from... in the city, a good winter coat is almost a good friend.
And isn't it great when your job's dress code includes jeans ?! :)
DorrieBelle's Doll of the Month !
| Lanard Toys' 'Catwalk Kitties' - this is Sushi... |
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| But I know her as 'Lilah Gamboldt'. |
Lilah : In Her Own Words
Hello ! It's nice to meet you ! I'm Lilah Gamboldt, and you may have heard of me before.
I'm a fashion model - nowadays, more of a writer than model, though ! - and I'm also a cat ! I'm as unusual as Elphie, so
it sort of makes sense that she and I live in the same apartment building uptown. Don't she and Fiyero make the cutest couple
? Try convincing them of that, though ! It's like pulling claws !
Well, DB says I'm supposed to talk about me. I'm
about as tall as Shinobu and her friends, and I love wearing their clothes, although you do have to mind my tail. Isn't it
luxe ! And nobody yells at me for wearing fur !
Here's some photos from my modeling days, and some of my other cat
friends. We were going to stick together, but you know how the fashion world - and the real world ! - works. Everybody's everywhere
!
These days, I'm a staff writer for a leading magazine, thank Everything for e-mail and airlines ! I can live in the city
I love, travel, submit my articles from anywhere and still have my cozy little hideaway.
I admit, I've kind of kept
to myself ever since moving here, but I'm starting to venture out a bit more. I mean, a catgirl's no longer something so shocking
- I can even buy footwear to fit at Shinobu's favorite shopping arcades ! - but folks 'round here rarely see us, and my reclusiveness
hasn't helped.
Oops ! Sorry, DB, it's almost time for me to go. I need a new winter coat, too - this fur isn't all
that warm in some of these stiff winds ! Umm... I have a weakness for Thai chow and cookies, and hope one day to apprentice
to a designer... or be the first former model in space ! Dream big, I always say !
| And the box 'Sushi' came in |
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A few notes from DB :
'Lila Gamboldt' is a Catwalk Kitty, an unusual doll from the Lanard toy company I found
at a local video DVD rental and sales-Books-Music-Cafe store. I've scanned her box below.
I haven't been able to find
out much about the line. Lanard Toys' website is silent about them, and the website mentioned in the packaging is inert. Her
box is dated 2005, but her body and head are marked 2004. Canceled in mid-production, perhaps ?
She's Barbie-size,
and can wear anything in that scale, provided allowances are made for her pipecleaner-like tail. Her feet are much like Bratz,
that they snap on and off at the ankle. Unfortunately, the Bratz Boys shoes I bought don't fit her, but I can use them if
I prop her up !
She can wear soft Ken boots over her feet, and that gives her some options. Her 'hands' are actually
paws, like her feet, and she has tiny ears at the top of her head. She has body-mold underwear, including a bra. There were
several other 'Catwalk Kitties' at the store, but I could just get one, and we haven't been back there since before Christmas
!
So if you can share the knowledge database of 'Catwalk Kitties', please do ! She's quite fun, and her Barbie body
and oversized head makes her seem equally at home in a sixth-scale world and Elphie's.
December 2005 - Happy Holidays !
| Hope we bring you a little |
|
|
| Christmas cheer ! |
When Elphie found out that the radio station she works for hosts an annual children's charity at Christmas, she was excited
about helping.
When she was nominated for the job of 'Mrs. Claus', who hands out toys during the kids' Christmas party,
she felt flattered and happy.
At least, until she saw that dress ! She was envisioning neck-to-floor red flannel !
Whose bright idea was this, and how can she get out of it without upsetting the kids ? Grrrr !
(dress and hat, made
by me, of course ! :) But don't tell Elphie ! At least she can choose her own shoes - some wicked black boots or a sparkly
pair of red pumps...)
November 2005 - Happy Thanksgiving !
| That Fiyero ! |
|
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| He's always up to something ! :) |
Elphaba was enjoying a cool drink on a warm Autumn evening. She was watching... watching for what or whom, she couldn't
say. But it was a lovely evening.
A red leaf skittered by her skirt. She watched a yellow one dance in the breeze
until it went past her. Where were all those leaves coming from ? There wasn't a foliage tree anywhere near her...
FIYERO
MATTHEWS !!
I think she's still picking parts of leaves from her hair - but I know she's already forgiven him for
dumping them on her head !
October 2005
"Whenever you look out, you also look in."
This is why I have to give up doll groups. Mailing lists, fan groups,
forums, message boards, all of it. I hate to cut myself off so completely, but between the Misery Maven Havens, the political-religious
(close to the same thing in the US these days) subtexts, the endless photos of bored cats, the "Lookie what I got" and "I
gotta sell this one I bought last month to afford what I ordered this week" messages, and contests wherein only the popular
posters win anything, I can't help but feel miserable. When I look within, I'm not upset at what I see... but some of the
posts are enough to make you feel poor and shabby.
Back in my Barbie days, I was a member of another doll group that
disintegrated into endless 'Look what I just bought - it was only $70. !' messages by two members. The rest of us either ignored
them (difficult, as these two made up 80% of the group's messages) or bought tons of dolls of their own, without spending
so much. It wasn't long before the big spenders started trying to sell stuff, and the whole board ended up as an op-ed and
classified ads page between about four folks. I'd initially been caught up in the 'go buy stuff so you have something to post'
flurry, but ended up dropping the whole thing as the big spenders moved on to Gene.
I've lurked a few times, but it's
still mostly bragging, with one line responses tagged by six inches of cutesy signature files. Hope you like the sig files,
you'll see the same ones about eight times in any threads that go over twelve messages. It's been about six months since I've
been there, and I haven't missed it.
I've been on bunches of Yahoo doll groups. On one I objected to a 'Prayer in
Schools' signature petition posted to the whole group, was told by the owner that I could either put up or go away. I also
saw how my threads got ignored when a group favorite asked the same question I did a week after I did. She got about 15 responses,
I got ignored. I tried to not let it bother me, but why linger where you're not wanted ? So I went away.
I've tried,
really tried, to keep my ego out of it. I've stayed out of the "Oh, poor me" threads, avoided the "I need prayers" messages,
and sighed as I deleted 16 photos of somebody's dying cat from my in-box. In short, whatever pleasure has gone, and holding
in my contrary opinions so I don't get thrown out gets old. I have no problem with simply saying nothing when I think the
doll's new outfit makes her look like a kinderwhore, or prosti-tot, but again, why erase 68 messages a day that I have no
interest in, for conversations I can't participate in ?
I just can't see drooling over a new $99. doll when I just
bought two $78. ones. Or selling the one I got two weeks ago to get this one over here. Or paying more for one evening gown
for a doll than I spent on all my clothes combined for 2003 - 2005. So I don't feel I can post there. Besides, I just have
the two dolls. Not a lot for me to talk about, over there.
"Oh, you make casual wear. That's nice." Pretty much sums
up my experience. Must be nice to be at an endless cocktail party, but I doubt anyone outside a doll could stand it. One of
the main reasons I wanted Elphie so much was so that I could dress her in something beyond black witch-wear. Let her be happy
in everyday clothes, enjoy day-to-day. I wanted to do that for the 'Wicked' character, too.
I don't mean to judge
anyone else. But I get tired of the same things no matter where I go. At least I have this place to go to. I get bored of
my own stuff a lot, but at least it motivates me, instead of angers, frustrates, or depletes my spirit.
I just can't
keep looking out when all I see is frustration layered by boredom. It bothers me too much.
September 2005 - Happy Labor Day !
The Simplification of My Green World
Came to an important realization this last month. I've looked at many doll
clothes patterns - I must have in the hundreds by now ! - and coveted books and tissues of more, more, more ! It's the same
thing I often deride Barbie collectors of having - the never-satisfied collecting hunger that never finds ease. Mattel makes
sure there's always something new cresting over the next hill. Well, I'm no better. I can say that wanting patterns equals
wanting potential, time, and maybe even praise, but it still boils down to rapacious Want. Merely in a different form. Sometimes
I don't think I really even want to use the stuff I covet, just want to know I have it. I think that's how eBay works - tell
me that you never thought "Neener, neener, neener ! I won, you lost. Better luck next time, cheapskate !" when an auction
closed in your favor. Or something like it - unless you only bid on those with no other challengers.
Noticed the other
day, though ...doll clothes shapes are all the same. A straight sleeve is a straight sleeve, no matter if you're making it
for a Liddle Kiddle or a My Size Barbie. Shape is the same. Technique is different, by necessity. Fabric, too. Choices are
altered as well. But a house-dress and a wedding gown can have the same shape. Even use the same pattern. What makes one a
sweet memory and the other a kid-friendly rag is the choice - the fabric, the trim, the technique. In other words, the Artist.
I don't kid myself about that. I ain't no artist. Came in tied for last place in an online sewing for Crissy theme
contest last month. But I know I did good work - I'm still quite proud of what I submitted. I just didn't submit what the
judges wanted. I could tell what they did want by looking at the winning photos, but that information was nowhere in the contest
rules.
Shoulda known better. There's a near-sideline business in competitive skating that attempts to divine what
judges want, so a competitor can be honed to whatever that constantly-shifting standard is. Sorry, but in my book, that's
not competing. That's performing. There's a difference. And I'm not anybody's trained monkey anymore.
Hell, I don't
wanna be a competitor or a performer. Whole reason I started sewing was for many of the dolls I love, there are no clothes
available, and we were too broke to have stuff custom-made for them. Shoot, most of those beloved dolls were bought from yard
sales ! But I grew to love sewing, having a new challenge waiting whenever I'm ready for one, and always having something
new to learn - and always having something new the way I want it is still an incredible wealth ! I still look at Dollar Tree
doll clothes, but it's beyond rare for me to buy even one outfit anymore.
That's a big change. When DTree got in new
doll clothes, it'd be rare for me to not drop $5. or more there, depending on what was in my wallet when I saw the display.
Hey, it's sooooo much cheaper than Mattel ! Yeah, but I really got what I paid for. I can make better stuff out of better
materials for about an hour and a quarter's worth of supplies.
And that time is recreation, not drudgery. I always
wondered about the people who make that stuff. I've seen crap stitching on both Fashion Avenue and Chandler's Fashion Doll
Clothes - it's just easier to see on the DTree Chandler stuff, as the thread's usually only black or white.
Now I
know a little more about myself. And I'm less likely to salivate at anything a toy company throws down the pike anytime soon.
I still get all dizzy with possibility in fabric stores, but I haven't set foot into a Toys R Us since before last Christmas.
And haven't been to a fabric store in months. Last fabric purchase was two 'Bag of Rags' from Dollar Tree - and I've made
some great stuff from those 'rags' ! If Dearest Son had been in school even just two years ago, I'd have been in TRU and Hobby
Lobby weekly, if not more often. Now, I just don't care. The few things I want aren't mass-merchandized.
And, fact
is, I already have what I really want. Everything else is just gravy...even those MST3K DVDs I love and hunger for !
Sorry
there aren't any new Home Page Images. I've been too darn busy taking photos of Elphaba ! Check out her page, it's been updated
to show all the stuff I made before her arrival on her and fitted. Goss, she's fun to sew for ! I'm hoping Fiyero will be,
too.
Mostly smooth sailing on the doll groups. It's easy when you barely pay attention ! There's more interesting,
necessary things going on, especially in Louisiana. I'm sure you already know where to donate cash, items, and time. Please
do. As one person on Prego put it, if you can afford a doll, you can donate something !
August 2005
Sorry to do this, folks, but I've dropped "My Friend Mandy" from my collection and the website. While the doll was a
PITA to fit and sew for, I was up to the challenge...but I started thinking. And I remembered why this doll haunted me so
much, I bought and dumped her twice.
She reminds me of a friend I left behind. Sometimes you have to leave your old
life behind in order to have the life you truly want, and it costs, big. In this case, being honest with myself and who I
am, and doing what was necessary to maintain that, cost me my friendship with her, because I knew she'd tell the ones I'd
cut contact with that she'd talked with me - not maliciously, but by pure accident. Then I'd know what color hell really is.
'Tain't green, that I can tell you.
But the truth of the matter is, our friendship had waned severely by the time
my life shifted and refocused, and if I'd been truly honest and adult with her about things neither of us wanted to discuss
- she didn't want to hear my family issues and I didn't want to tell her about some rather inappropriate actions from her
husband - it would have ended years before. In some ways, I was giving myself absolution for abandoning our friendship by
lavishing care on a doll that resembled her.*
I did what I had to. I don't regret it, but I hate that my actions hurt
people that weren't anywhere near the epicenter of the upheaval. It's sad that I had to sever ties with dozens to eliminate
the pain from a few, but there was no other way. I don't know if she can understand what she didn't want to talk about, but
I couldn't keep clinging to shreds of a past I can't change while brushing a doll's hair, wishing things were different.
So,
goodbye to Mandy and my friend, and the person I was who had to go, so I could grow to become who I really am. Who I was,
even then, but just couldn't be, the way I was. A green wicked witch, perhaps ? But at least a damn happy one ! I'm sorry
if I hurt you, but we're each responsible for our own happiness, and can't control a blasted thing anyone else on this planet
does. Different sides of the same coin. If one side gives you comfort, the other side invariably gives you pain. Unless you're
pretty darn balanced.
*Yes, I'll be glad to accept PayPal donations for therapy, why do you ask ?
And, just
for you, a new 'Home Page' image ! This one is all the dolls not in last month's 'HP' image. And I'm writing up a doll shoe
chart - I've learned a lot about what shoes fit what dolls, from sources you may not have considered yet ! Also links to learn
to make your own doll shoes ! Check out the latest image on the Crissy page - I made Crissy's matching blue ballerina flats
!
Against all evidence and experience, I have joined yet another doll group. So, far, so good - if I can keep my ego
out of it, I might just have some fun with this one !
July 2005
My little green world. I've come to love it more every month, especially when I
reflect back where I've been. When I was fighting what I was in an effort to be everybody else. It seems so silly now, but
so important then...
I'm still in a sort-out mode. This weekend, I realized that, while I went through their stuff
last month - and made a huge donation - I hadn't touched the sixth-scale dolls in weeks. Anyone who saw the two bookcases
of them would probably call them "The Barbies", but less than half are made by Mattel. There was a thick layer of dust and
baby powder on them all, thanks go to a mischievious Dearest Son for the powder, and many need a change of clothes. Didn't
have much time, but at least they all got dusted. Later today, they'll get new clothes.
It's funny about dolls. Sometimes
when you pick one up, you immediately get a name in your head, or just 'know' that this doll is ready to move on to his or
her next adventure, away from you. Seven have separated themselves from the Chez Insanity pack and will be leaving Wednesday,
part of another donation. Boy, charities sure have me pegged, don't they ? I'd just gone through books and patterns a few
days before they called !
It's been so long since I sewed for them (Barbie-size dolls). Most of my other dolls have
huge wardrobes mostly made by me, or at least altered by me. There's some lucky yard-sale finds, but the overwhelming majority
has my sewing mistakes on it somewhere. The fashion dolls have the biggest masses of clothes, but it's mostly factory-made.
I started out wanting to make them clothes, since neither Mattel nor Dollar Tree Distribution makes what I want, but found
so much I did like, it seems silly to make more for them. Back then, I was only gonna have Barbie dolls. Not big-dress collectable
ones, just ones that appealed to me, didn't matter if they were new from Toys R Us or from a thrift store or Dollar Tree.
It didn't matter where he or she came from. Just mattered that I liked him or her.
I was a member of a Barbie group
back then, and most weekends on it consisted of dozens of photos of brand-new, top-dollar dolls that members bought moments
prior. We were pretty broke back then, and Son was pretty young, but I still found the cash and time to hit the thrifts and
flea markets to buy dolls. At one point, I had over 200 Barbie-size dolls, many of which I could have cared less about. But
the mindless hunt let me post photos along with the rest of the group, and brag that I had sooooo many dolls !
Of
course, that was doomed. All it took was a simple change of address, and most returned to the Doll Pool either through donations
or a yard sale. By the time we packed up our stuff, the dolls were down to double-digits. When I caught myself buying more
to impress again, I got off the group and did some thinking.
And it led to all the other dolls. Originally, it was
just gonna be fashion dolls, but now, it's a bit of everything ! Babies, toddlers, pre-teens, almost human-size...it's a lot
more fun that way. I'm not limiting myself to just one size, so my skills have really grown. And I don't have to impress anybody
- this site is mostly for my own enjoyment, when ya get down to it. But I hope to also encourage someone reading to have fun
doing what they want to do, not what everyone expects 'em to. Admit who you are, and life is so much better !
Even
if you find out you're really green ! Hey, realizing my 'greenness' has made me the happiest I've ever been !
We're
still waiting on the Oz dolls. The Tonner update back on 6/13 hasn't changed, but it's OK. I'm just glad they let us know
!
I did hear some interesting chatter about her. Don't know how accurate it is, but...FAO Schwartz (I thought they'd
gone under ?) is going to have a Tonner Oz exclusive...a non-green Wicked Witch, Miss Gulch ! So if you adore this facial
sculpt - I know I do ! - but don't care for her skin color, you may want to get on the FAO mailing list pronto !
June 2005
It's said that you usually get what you deep down truly wish for - just that, by the time you get it, you don't recognize
it, and you don't want it anymore. Well, last month, I kinda hoped I wouldn't have any Life Lessons (tm) to muddle through.
Maybe it was a wish, because most of May passed without anything green-planet-shattering happening. Oh, I still wrestled
with issues I've been dealing with throughout this year, but nothing major. It's kind of nice to not have to worry about acceptance
and approval from Internet virtual strangers and dealing with anonymous comments about weight and attractiveness. It's been
much more relaxing worrying about Dearest Son's education, the steady erosion of personal and sexual privacy, sewing people
clothes, and Grizzly Tools twice ignoring 'NO BACKORDERS' requests and charging out lean checking account for stuff we cancelled.
Ahhh, sweet freedom.
Aaaaanyway...
Mattel's in real trouble if they're unloading Fashion Avenue clothes at
Dollar Tree ! I know I haven't bought anything of Mattel's since before December 2004, but I did get five Ken outfits at the
end of May. Are they in trouble, or just dumping Ken and anything labeled Ken, for good ? Last time I saw Stacie and Teen
Skipper clothes, they were at Dollar Tree...
They also had many, many Kelly and Tommy outfits, as well as a few carded
Barbie clothes. I just got the five Kens - I hadn't intended on spending any money on me that trip ! - that I really wanted.
I doubt they'll stay around long. Barbie and Kelly stuff will probably get gone first. There were also several other Barbie-licensed
products there - odd shaped plates and bowls in melamine.
Everything else is going well - I'm developing sets of directions
for 'pattern-free' doll clothes. It's got ups and downs, and a few hundred variables to work out. But it's sure fun to work
on ! I've used up several dozen scraps that I don't think I could've used any other way.
I'm even wearing a pattern-free
shirt I made out of Wal-Mart 'dollar table' fabric. I just love it. So comfy. It's funny to buy more than a half-yard at a
time ! Found some markdown stuff at Hancock Fabrics for 50c/yd, and I bought about eight yards. There's material everywhere
!
While I hosted the image of Tonner's gorgeously costumed Witch a few months back, I actually ordered this one, the
Basic. Isn't she gorgeous ?
UPDATE : Too bad she's been delayed 'til further notice. Click on the photo to visit tonnerdoll.com
's site, look for their products and shipping schedule. July. Whole line's been pushed back twice, and now it doesn't even
have a release date anymore. Hasn't been cancelled, just quality control and licensing are taking longer than originally estimated.
Oh, well - I'd rather have a delayed well-made doll than a rushed, on-time one !
So, I'm hoping June is much the same.
Time to work on stuff I have already on the horizon, and not worrying much about what's next. Hope your month's similarly
relaxing - and fun !
May 2005 -
Again, a little late, but hey, this late is earlier than April's late !
Fact is, I wasn't sure what I wanted
to spew about. Couldn't think of anything until today, and I've been really busy sewing. It wasn't until last night that it
hit me why I felt so out of phase. Oh, I was mentally tired, but that didn't explain it. I was healthy, in the midst of spring
fever, but even my allergies were quiet. I was happy, but something just wasn't connecting, somewhere...
So I tried
to think about it, then tried not to think about it, and through it all, that feeling of disconnection continued. I got off
the one My Size Barbie group, and two others that weren't going much of anywhere. Joined another doll group - specific to
one type of doll - and they've been lots of fun over there. I now only belong to two groups, and they both make me happy.
And flood my e-mail box at random times, which also makes me happy.
I was busily posting photos of the 'Lookie what
I made !!' variety at least once a week, being careful to make sure the doll was part of the group to which I'd subscribed.
While I don't mind seeing others' dolls that aren't the reason the group exists, it can go overboard. Lately I haven't been
able to escape those damn 'Reborns' even on groups, and that handed me the answer.
It'd been a while since I posted
new photos. Oh, I had lots to post, but was too busy sewing to take more, much less post 'em. I was in the middle of responding
to all the 'Reborn' pictures, misery tales, and 'Lookie what I made for this other doll !' posts that I felt I had to answer
before I posted more of my stuff, when it hit me.
I was making things to get applause and lauds from the other group
members.
I wasn't even aware I was doing it until then. The whole reason I was praising others' work and commisserating
with the inevitable Misery Maven stuff that always comes up in groups that are mostly women, wasn't because I wanted to. It
was because I felt I had to, otherwise they would't praise my stuff when I posted again.
Yes, it was sad that someone's
second cousin was fleeing her abusive online boyfriend when she got hit by a drunk driver, but it's not like I even knew the
poster, much less her. And I don't pray, so when folks ask for those, I never know what to say. 'Oh, I'm so sorry - I'll think
good thoughts for you !' doesn't cut it for crap, y'know ?
I don't like crochet doll dresses 'cause they always make
a doll look like she's wearing threaded nets, hate Berenguer dolls, both those damnable 'Reborn' body parts and the assembled
'Lots To Love' neckless wonders. It creeps me out when a doll looks more like a baby than photos of a then-infant Dearest
Son. Sorry, but it does. Doll hats that look like starched doilies just don't thrill me the way I guess they should. So it's
really hard for me to work up praise and sympathy I don't truly feel. I'm still finding out how I feel without assuming the
feelings of those around me, and listening to and trusting myself is proving a difficult lesson.
I got so tired about
hearing about the hats, I actually bought a 42c markdown doily from Hobby Lobby, starched it, and now my doll has a hat I
could care less for. I'm not into doll hats and purses, even for the Barbies. And I'm sure the original poster put a lot of
work and effort and creativity into the one she made that I copied. But filching it was sort of my revenge. Of course, I never
posted it...
So that's what was bothering me. I was trawling strangers for praise for the few things I deemed good
enough to share photos of, which is damn stupid. While it may seem selfish and self-centered, if you're not creating for yourself,
you're just pimping your skill. While I'm no artist, I do enjoy my chosen crafts, and if someone doesn't like it, that's fine.
No one likes everything, unless they're kissing butt to get postponed praise. In my humble opinion, that's worse than being
a bit self-centered in your art.
So I'm redoing my image pages, because I am proud of what I've done, and would like
to share it. Without expecting praise or anything from anybody. If I'm happy with what I've made, that's enough. Posting photos
on my 'nobody sees it' website is just a little bonus thrill.
Guess that's my 'Green' for May. Learning to not need
praise from others when I'm happy, and that my enjoyment is enough. I think, next, I'll work on being more confident about
it !
I hope to add some more photos to the front page, and finally write up that review for Doll Shop Deluxe. I've
been wrestling with it for the last two weeks, trying to get it to fit one doll, and it's been...educational, frustrating,
and annoying. There's good and bad in it, but it's not like there's any review on it anywhere else, and folks need to know
what I've concluded before they shell out $99. Earlier this week, I was convinced I should have just invested that money in
paper towels, to make my own patterns with, and take the rest of the cash and buy booze. It might have been easier that way.
April 2005 -
Sorry this update's late. When I wondered what this month would bring as far as growth in my green-ness, I hadn't anticpated
this !
I'm a member of several doll groups. Some are silent as a tomb, others assume we're all cookie-cutter identical
because we all like the same doll. At least the quiet ones I can unsub from without being angry at anyone.
Y'see,
I don't have the same political or religious leanings as most Americans. Big honkin' surprise, huh ? When I join a doll group,
I wanna talk about dolls, see photos, talk about customizing, creating for, that type of doll. Maybe a few chats about personal
issues, but not many. The doll group shouldn't be a Misery Maven Haven or a Christian Science Reading Room. Shouldn't be that
hard to understand. But some folks are determined to mix religion, politics, and vinyl, and it's a mess I'm staying out of
from now on. It smells and is impossible to clean up !
Few months ago, on one of my groups, someone posted a chain
letter for a religious political issue. It's a hot button for a lot of people, and in my humble opinion, had no business in
a doll chat group. So I said so. Five minutes later, another wit posted the same chain letter again. Nice. Moderator told
me that I could choose to go or stay, but she wasn't keeping anyone from posting that sort of stuff. Ever since then, any
messages I start get ignored, any threads I respond to die. I was about to give up when the group decided to start a swap.
Swaps are a lot of fun. Rules and dates are set, you normally make something and send it to your swap partner, they
do the same. I got assigned to the sterling wit who posted the chain letter the second time. Rules were, make a spring dress,
mail it by this date. Simple enough.
Still, I set aside an entire day to make something really nice. Bought all new
material and a $2. custom color match zipper, made plans to make the dress, matching underwear, a hair bow, a jacket, a belt,
a purse, a slip, and buy shoes. All told, I'd put $15. into this without even counting mailing it all.
My swap partner
ignored every effort I made to contact 'em, to ask for favorite color, mailing address, etc. A few days ago, I got a tiny
box. Inside was a simple if pretty tube dress. Not quite as elaborate as what I'd made, but nice. I appreciated the effort
my partner put into it.
Until my fingers found the tag. Yes, tag. My partner had bought it for $2. off eBay. Nice.
I matter so little to this person and probably the group at large that the first thing he/she could buy got sent. Gee, I feel
so special. I don't care about the cost, but the fact that this Bible-quoting Bushie ignored the several-times-stated rules
and sent me a closet cull just hit me wrong. I would have been happy with a tube made from 5c worth of elastic and 15c worth
of material, as long as my parter was the one who made it. But no, he/she couldn't even go to the trouble of sewing three
straight lines.
Well, there was no way in hell I was sending a dress I spent four hours making. It was perfect ! So
I went to my closet and pulled out a nice dress I made last year, from a 25c yard sale kids' dress. It was decent sewing,
not my best, but good, and the style was more of what I've come to know is his/her preference. It's a tube with an elasticized
halter tie-back top, in a pretty lavender knit fabric. Truth be told, my partner probably would prefer that to the pretty
yellow dress I made.
It's in the mail and on the way. And I'm only staying in the group long enough to determine if
he/she gets it or not. Once it's acknowledged, I'm deleting my photo folder and unsubscribing. I don't need to be there anymore.
Upshot is, I posted a nice photo of 'Casey' wearing the swap dress, posed on Dearest Son's bike, in front of his Power
Wheels truck, thanking my partner for a pretty dress. It's kind of understood that you send the group an image of the dress
you get. Only two members have responded, and neither mentioned the dress - just the truck and the yard ! Wonder how many
recognize the dress from eBay and don't want to say anything ? My little note just said 'thanks for the lovely dress' and
a bit about spring being a time to play with the toys in the backyard again. Not a word about the dress' origin. I do have
some class, ya know.
Not a single word from my swap partner. He/She should have the dress I sent by Tuesday. That's
why I'm waiting 'til Friday to leave. Plenty of time to say anything. At least I stuck by the rules and made something. If
he/she doesn't like it, oh, well. It's not like they got room to whine.
So, what's the lesson here ? Stay the heck
away from swaps unless you're the most popular person in the group ? No. Do what you feel is right, regardless of what the
other person does. Give 'em the benefit of the doubt, but don't trade your best efforts for utter crap.
Part of being
green is knowing you can't control what anyone on this planet does. All you can do is control your reactions and what you
do. You can't change what others think of you, but you don't have to put up with it either. If you're gonna go, leave quietly.
While it's tempting to heave a nasty-gram bomb behind you as your heels hit the doorframe, it's best to show some class and
just leave. If they care, they'll wonder. If they don't, no letter on the planet will change anything, it'll just vindicate
their opinions.
What bugs me is that I joined the swap to hopefully mend bridges - instead, its shown me how little
I mean to the group. Well, knowing how others really think of you is a blessing on its own. Gives you the freedom to GO !
So, let's recap. February, I came to terms with being green. March, I gave up trying to convince strangers that being
who I am is OK, and stopped looking at people who clearly aren't OK and feeling superior by comparing myself to them. And
already in April, I've learned that it's best to be far away from people who can't accept that you might just be a little
different from them, and don't hold their beliefs as your own. They tend to think it makes you sub-human somehow.
I'm
kind of hoping I don't learn anything in May...
March 2005 -
Sorry this update's gonna ramble. And it won't be much about dolls. But this seems to be the only place I can be myself
now. My Somewhere. I'll try to make it up to you with some more content later. Promise.
Recently, I took stock of
my emotional and mental development over the last five years. Its been an insane rollercoaster half-decade. And I came to
the conclusion that I no longer need etiquettehell.com, motherinlawstories.com, Jerry Springer or Maury Povich to show me
how bad humanity is, so that I can feel better (or at least superior) about myself. Worse than watching a train-wreck. It's
like being amused by watching an idiot try to slice warm butter with bad language and a rusty pickaxe. Idiot can't help that
the butter's already a liquid, or that he/she has the wrong tools for a useless task. But watching the spectacle is damn stupid.
Surely there's more interesting things to do with your limited time on this planet !
So I was looking around for someplace
fun. I considered somethingawful.com, they always have something intriguing going on. I was about to plunk down my $10. for
membership when I toured the forums. In their Comedy Goldmine, a contributing editor shared a letter from a young woman who'd
decided he was her One Love. While he didn't do much to encourage her, he didn't discourage her either, not exactly mature.
Neither was sharing a private letter and, in the forums, her photo with strangers so they could laugh at her. Oh, she was
nuts, there is no doubt about that, but the response of the other denizens of the forums was to insult her physical appearance
by claiming her mere image stole their erections, vision, and will to live. Well, that $10. went right back into my ole big
butt pocket- because she's about the same size and of similar appearance as me. Damned if I'm going to pay to use their forum
if this is the way they treat people. They're no better than Mattel. If someone doesn't meet their standards, he or she is
garbage. No thanks.
I then lurked the Barbie forum on about.com. I used to be a regular visitor there, until one permanent
resident declared that he didn't like a certain kind of doll. The same ones I'd always liked. When it seemed like the whole
rest of the group agreed with him, I felt as though I didn't belong there anymore. Besides, at the time, the group was sort
of dissolving into a big 'Look what I got' competition, rarely a weekend passing by without dozens of images of new dolls
posted by their proud new owners. I got into it, too, but my 'new' dolls were from yard sales, and my collection of Barbie-size
dolls alone soon swelled to over 200, most of which I cared little about, except that they raised my numbers impressively.
My collection now, of all dolls of all sizes is at 79, with my Valentine's Day present Tonner Basic Witch doll as #80 and
final when she arrives in June. No more competitions.
Well, someone asked if the group would like to own 'heavy Barbies'.
After several members corrected the terminology to 'fat Barbies', the response was overwhelmingly NO. Fat isn't perfect, and
all my dolls have to reflect my narrow vision of feminine goddess-stature. Oh, but it'd be OK if the dolls were sculpted as
senior citizens, after all, the aged can't exercise. Or be expected to be attractive. While several took the grace to announce
that while they themselves aren't perfect, their dolls darn well better be. I kind of sighed and left again. Besides, the
same one line responses with the same eight-inch sig files over and over and over and over were giving me a headache.
OK.
It's an established fact now. I'm big. Freakin' HUGE ! I'm about a size 24 in jeans, and my bust is so big, Victoria's Secret
employees tremble to see me in the entrance - ain't a Wonderbra on this planet built to contain these melons. There's a reason
you don't see any photos of me here. Same reason no one on about.com or somethingawful.com has never seen me. I'm proud of
my site, and love having one, yet I know I'm not physically attractive, and I don't want to steal anyone's will to live with
my less-than-perfect visage. I at least have enough self-esteem to not encourage insults and criticism like I've read over
the last few days. It's bad enough my parents couldn't accept who and what I am, I am not about to rely on the approval of
strangers to complete my life. I probably have a long way to go psychologically about stupid stuff like appearances, and that's
my struggle. I just don't understand why, according to shampoo and deodorant ads, I'm supposed to struggle with some sleazy
moron's mental judgment of me based on how I look pulling cat food off a shelf at Wal-Mart.
It just bothers me sometimes.
I'm not hideous. Children don't run screaming at the sight of me when I drop Dearest Son off at school every day. Beloved
Husband loves me utterly, no matter how bad I look, and most of the people I interact with every day respond to my gaze, chatter,
and smile by looking back at me and grinning. But some anonymous blowhole who pilots a desk chair around with his butt all
day - and probably doesn't look or smell that good himself - can claim that just looking at a photo of some strange overweight
girl has crippled them for life. Are we really still that shallow ?
So instead of looking at me, you get to look at
dolls and clothes I've made. At least they won't burn anyone's retinas off. If you look closely, many of my dolls have faults.
The Crissy I've sewn almost non-stop for since December has cut fingers, mold on her eyes, and I haven't gotten her hair right
yet. Baby Chrissy's head is very loose, and there's a blank spot in her cheek blush that's rather obvious. Some have damaged
feet, stained legs, chewed hands, or sparse hair from the attentions of a previous owner. And almost all have the ubiquitous
'play scratches'. Sorry, I'd just rather have dolls that sort of need me a little than some perfect box that doesn't do a
thing for anybody. Hell, Mattel can't make a doll look like their own prototype photos, much less make a perfect one. They
always cheap out in some stupid way. But in my little doll world, all are happy and feel beautiful. Because they are. More
than any limited edition 'collector' doll can ever be.
If a plastic doll can't be perfect, then why do we expect it
of others ? Why should anyone have to hide who they are to be accepted in a room full of other faceless strangers ? It's too
confusing for the likes of me, so I think I'll just stay in my Somewhere, and enjoy my family life and my doll life. It's
funny. I've been online since 1995, but this is the first time I've felt like I didn't belong anywhere. Surprising how little
it matters.
Anyway, as mentioned previously, Beloved Hubby reserved the Basic Witch for me for Valentine's day. I've
about given up on my own Elphaba efforts, but it was fun ! I now know how to make those 'bubble top' sleeves. And where to
find 1/16th inch eyelets !
Seems like last month, I came to terms with being green. Since I've always been green in
one way or another, it's about time ! This month, I gave up trying to convince strangers that being who I am is OK, and stopped
looking at people who clearly aren't OK and feeling superior. I can't help but wonder what next month will bring...
February 2005 - not sure where January 2005 went...
Yes, time for another change 'round here. Apologies to returning visitors who've been here long enough to remember "DorrieBelle's
Doll Bunker", but you know what they say - that which doesn't grow or change, dies. I'd rather change this place when I do,
every few months, than let it rot.
I've been a little dissatisfied with dolls of late. Seems like there was little
I wanted, that dollmakers were going out of their way to just make millions more of what they'd already released, or make
their dolls disdainful and downright rude-seeming. As a result, I felt little urge to create, couldn't see how I could make
something that wasn't just more and more of the same. Even though my "studio" space had doubled thanks to Beloved Hubby, I
spent less time there now than ever.
Spent an entire contemplative weekend sorting through all I have and it made
me smile to see some of the things I made a long time ago. It wasn't that bad, and some of it was actually really good. Still,
how many doll dresses does one person need ? How much could be made that hadn't ever been done before ? Is it possible to
do anything truly unique anymore ?
Yes, there was a spark missing, and I knew it. I could tell my own creativity just
wasn't flowing like it used to, but why ? What was this spark, where did it fit, what did its absence mean ? What needed to
change to bring the spark back ? I isolated myself from groups and forums until I figured it out. Did some old hobbies instead,
learned some new skills.
Then, almost on a whim, the spark appeared. I'd been off-and-on reading about it, and did
a bit of research. The book I'd been re-reading was Gregory Maguire's "Wicked : The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of
the West". Read some of his fairy-tale makeovers before, but it was odd that I was reading this one. I'd never really liked
"Wizard of Oz". "Star Wars" (the 1977 version, thank you very much, GLucas !) captured and held more of my imagination. I
didn't understand Dorothy (heck, I'd have stayed in Oz - my 'Kansas' sucked worse than hers did !), and the characters I was
most interested in seemed to get the least attention. Seemed Mr. Maguire had the same fancies I had - just why was the west
witch wicked, while the east was good ? Is a cackle and a fluffy dressmaker all that separated good from bad there ? And why
did this 'good' witch lie, sentencing another woman to die, really for nothing ? One time I brought this up amongst fellow
girl-nerds who could spend hours dissecting relationships onboard "Battlestar : Galactica", I was told that I really needed
to stop entertaining such silly notions. WWW was bad because the book said she was, so the movie said she was. Done deal.
End program.
So that's probably why I never liked Oz. Too many unanswered questions that nobody but me cared about.
I found myself siding with the witch, something nobody wants to hear. You have to like the fluffy princess, or else. Sometimes
I even felt inadequate as a girl for liking Princess Leia, which was acceptable. There were dolls of Leia. Even if she wasn't
exactly fluffy.
But Mr. Maguire's 'Elphaba' intrigued me. She was human, she loved, she hated, she made mistakes,
and tragically had hatred and expectations shoved at her simply because her skin was green. Boy, could I relate. Seems like
I spent most of my life denying my green and hoping I'd somehow become a fluffy pink princess, and I got bitter when it didn't
happen. By then, puberty was in full destructive swing, and I still didn't grow any prettier. My parents more or less gave
up on their green girl, and I always felt that I'd disappointed them along with the rest of the planet, simply for being me.
I swung between "I'll show them all !" and "They can go get bent, this is who I am." (hand gestures accompanying)
Guess
you know where the pendulum stopped swinging. And about the same time I came to that conclusion, this appeared :
I
hope the Tonner Doll Company can forgive me for stealing their image, but I'm in love with their doll ! It's almost like the
Leia again. It's all right for me to be who I am, enjoy what I want to, and be green. While this isn't an Elphaba doll, she's
a gorgeous green Wicked Witch of the West, and that's enough for me. Unfortunately, I can't afford this beauty, but Tonner
does make a Basic Witch, and come June, she's mine !
So now, I'm all excited and creative again. I can't wait to sew
for her, make all the clothes I want her to have. And she's a whole new scale, so that should be interesting !
Thanks,
Mr. Tonner, Mr. Maguire. I feel good about myself, better than I've felt for quite some time, if ever. All it took was realizing
that green is, after all, my favorite color. And it's a beautiful day to be green.
December 2004
Well, a late update's better than none at all !
Sorry - month's half over, and I'm just now updating. What can
I say, between school-borne viruses, holiday projects, and just day-to-day busy, I forget. Plus I had a new doll obsession
that took a lot of time (don't they always !) and now that it's resolved, I can get stuff done. Thanks for your patience.
Just like my birthday, Beloved Hubby said I could have whatever doll or sewing items I wanted for Christmas. Just
let him know what he needed to do, or how much cash we needed in the bank. He's a sweetie - buying gifts for doll people ain't
easy ! Besides, getting LivingSoft's Doll Shop Deluxe software, for me, was Christmas ! It was expensive, but it's saved us
tons of cash in the long run - I don't look at even the cheapest second-hand doll clothes anymore. I already know I can make
better, with fabric I love. Still, Hubby was insistent, and I could only think of one doll I still wanted. Heck, I even had
a 'My Friend Mandy', a doll I liked but never really wanted, but who can turn down a doll for 25c at a yard sale ?
Still,
this doll was a kind of hard-sell even to myself. I've loved her for years, but she came out just as I was starting to 'grow
up' (hah !) and give up dolls. I asked for her one Christmas, got a generic blonde doll instead. So I kinda gave up on her
as a kid. And by getting it, was I playing out some fantasy ? She's a baby doll, something I don't really favor. And bidding
on 'em gets pretty lively on eBay, secondary prices elsewhere already being too expensive. But still...of all the dolls out
there, past and present, there was only one I looked for online when I was bored...
Baby Crissy. I adored my Beautiful
Crissy, the teen doll, who was lost in a move, and already had a flea market rescue one, even now being rerooted whenever
I have the time. It was funny to me how the faces resembled each other, when they were clearly representing different ages.
And Baby Crissy is a BIG doll - 24 inches 'tall'. Did I really have time and room for such a big baby doll ?
Yes !
After being outbid over and over, I got sneaky and looked for 'Baby Chrissy'. Then just 'Chrissy'. Oftentimes, a simple misspelling
means less traffic - and lower prices ! Many sellers are wise to the 'Chrissy' spelling and list their dolls both ways, but
sometimes you get lucky...
Since I found her with the 'h' in her name, I decided to let her keep it ! Edit Picture
She's a lot of fun to dress, and even though you often read she's designed to mimic a 9-month-old, the clothes that
fit her best are 0-3 months size. This weekend, I get to take her shoes shopping, and for some outfit that has long sleeves,
maybe a sleeper. All the stuff in yard sales and thrift stores has been summer-wear ! In case you wonder, yes, I do take the
doll in with me, doesn't matter if it's GoodWill or Wal-Mart. I've had all the 'I care what strangers think of me' bled out
over the last few years. Very liberating !
I'm looking forward to making clothes for her - and finding the occasional
neat outfit second-hand. Believe it or not, I hit three yard sales last weekend 12/11. Amazing that there's still garage sales
in December ! I tried to donate some dressed second-hand Barbies to a Christmas gift charity - I always make sure my donated
dolls are perfect - but they weren't interested unless the dolls were still in-box new. And they wonder why donations are
down and folks choose to sell stuff on eBay...
I'll write up a Crissy page soon, in case you're also intrigued by
these lovely red-head grow-hair dolls - what to look for in second-hand and auction pages, a review of Crissy Dolls and Her
Friends, by Beth Gunther, once my copy comes in from Half.com. And more photos ! Here's one more to tide you over, and I hope
your holiday dreams come true...here's to 2005 !
PS- That's NOT Beloved Hubby in the background - he's a visiting
relative who really doesn't get my doll groove !
Thanks for visiting us in 2004 !
Merry Chrissy-mas !
See
you in 2005, we hope !
November 2004
Two months. Two updates. Enjoy.
It's funny how life always makes you do what you say you won't. 'Oh, when I get a website, I'll update it all the time,
have real content, add photos every day !" Then six months go by without ya even looking at it, and you're stunned to realize
that you've had more hits while you were gone.
"I'm not gonna get one of those My Size dolls. They're too big, and
what am I gonna do with it ?" That got amended to "Unless I find one local at a yard sale, I won't get the My Size I really
want. " Sat on that one for two years before I realized that the only doll thing I wanted was a brunette My Size. And my birthday
was coming up. Too bad the only brunette on eBay was at $50. and rising. The week after my birthday, two brunettes closed
at $35. Sooo, now I have a $25. blonde MSB coming in the mail. I learned customizing techniques and 'Gracie' is a doll I absolutely
love - love her new look, love sewing for her, love just having such a pretty doll. "I'll never get another one. I mean, really,
Gracie is enough !".
Two weeks later, at a thrift store that had a MSB in the window that wasn't for sale, I found
another. She was actually in better shape than Gracie, but her hair was a tangled rat's nest. $12.99. How could I resist ?
She's now 'Casey', a lovely redhead, and just different enough from Gracie that I treasure them both.
All this started
from "I won't do this". How many times do we all cover something we want in a blanket of excuses ? Come up with reasons why
we can't do something we truly want to ? Why ? Do we not 'deserve' it ? Or in our world of excess, are we waiting to see if
we truly want something ? I can tell you, when I hear how much my friends are in debt to various credit cards, that's darn
rare !
In my case, I rejected the MSB I wanted from fear. I knew I'd have to sew clothes for mine if I got one, as
the princess dress thing just wasn't my style. Sewing for a doll over three times as big as what I was used to was somewhat
daunting, even when I had experience with doll clothes under my belt. I also would have to deal with folks thinking that having
one as an adult was 'perverted' (no joke, visit opinion threads on barbiecollectables.com for several quotes on that one),
as if I'd somehow sexualize a 38-inch doll. Ummm, if I'm that way, I wouldn't be wasting time with a Mattel doll when Realdoll.com
is out there. Besides, they don't make My Size Ken, and I'm as straight and boring as my hair. Plus, when I first wanted one,
our life was in chaos, and I ended up leaving things behind. So I waited.
That was the best course, of course. And
eventually, I got what I wanted. It's become a good learning experience. I've come to realize, thanks to Gracie and Casey,
that the more critical I am towards something, the more part of me wants it, is attracted to it. It's as if I show caring
by being critical. I'm trying to work around that, it's been in my psyche since birth. You can guess how my upbringing was.
What are you really critical of ? Do you deride it so you can pay attention to it ? Or is it simply easier to shove
some issues away rather than deal with 'em ? Only you know the answers for yourself. This month's challenge is to look into
what you actively dislike. Figure out why, and if necessary, go buy it ! Call it an early Christmas present for your own well-being.
And if you hate something because you hate it, well, that's fine too !
Yard sale season is drawing to a close.
It didn't get cold 'round here 'til the last week of October, and now it's cold with a vengeance. Still, I bet I can find
a few sales this weekend, if I can be lured out of our cave. I bought several cuttings of new fabric, and I can't wait to
sew with them. Got by with making the Halloween costumes short-sleeved, but the winter/holiday dresses are gonna require long
sleeves. And now that I understand princess seams, I really want to use that effect in my sewing !
I still have a
barely-started Beautiful Crissy to reroot, and I've found a few dozen other fabrics I want yardage from. I'm hoping to make
a few Christmas presents, too. So there may be very little time to shop the few sales still out there. Fine with me. I've
always seen winter as a time to go inside and be warm and cozy and crafty !
DB, hoping your winter heating bills aren't
too outrageous !
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October 2004
It's been HOW LONG since I updated this ??!
Oh, gosh, I am so sorry. Life's been kicking my round rump for
the last six months, and my little site really got neglected. Sorry, but it was either the site or our son, and I'm sure you
know how that decision went !
Oddly enough, there's been oodles more traffic since I split for
so long - many more visitors than there were when I actually did update this mess. Maybe I should stay gone...
Ha ! Psyche ! For better and worse, this is my little soapbox,
and I won't give it up willingly. Especially since I just now remembered (after many, many failed attempts) my password.
If I have to work that hard just to get back in here, I ain' t about to let it go easily. Hmpft.
As mentioned, it's been a frantic six months. The move went well,
and although our smaller place is cluttered as heck, it's comfy and well worth the moving hassles. We only broke one dish
( a Pyrex loaf pan) and cracked a lamp (that I got out of the Dumpster in the first place) in the scurry, so I was happy.
All my dolls have safely made the transition, and have been joined by just a couple more, including one that is a shameless
time-hog, and you'll be introduced to her soon.
Basically, we moved from the high-toned part of town to the low-rent
district, although the entire college town is nice, so there's no real 'bad section', just areas with lots of apartments and
rent homes. We're in a duplex with a fabulous neighbor, a happy medium between house (less noise, most expensive) and apartment
(noisy, but cheaper). Our landlords are nice, but the town government, since experiencing severe financial strain, has
gone on the prowl, searching for those who have not mown the grass in a week, and mowing it for 'em, at a cost of over
$200. Lawn nazis. Grass fascists. It's not like we're facing a major thoroughfare, we're waaay the heck away from any major
or minor roads. They just want the money, so the 'Green Shirts' patrol twice a week with rulers and cameras. Sad.
It was a busy summer, too - we got our son ready for his first
steps into public education and have hit pothole after pothole there...and thanks to medical issues, dental surgery, girl-stuff
surgery, bill problems, etc. we're just barely making it. When my husband got a bonus, we bought the first new clothes we've
had since our son's birth, instead of tucking it away like we maybe should have. He also got me a waay expensive computer
software pattern package that drafts patterns for any size doll on the planet, and we tried to upgrade our old computer.
Too bad the new big-a$$ hard drives require new configurations, new equipment and software to run ! Also unfortunate that
they didn't put this stuff on the outside of the &^%#ing box ! So we have a hundred-dollar hard drive that we desperately
need sitting here, waiting for us to come up with at least $150. in additional upgrades to work. (heaving sigh)
But it's not been a bad summer, and we're still hopeful as we
head into Fall. It's my favorite season. I don't have yard sales to hunt anymore, so I stay in with old Mystery Science
3000 tapes and finish half-done reroots, try new patterns, and attempt to stay the heck off eBay while Son struggles
with beginning reading, and Hubby paints and writes. Like I said, Fall's my favorite. Seems like I finish more things in Fall.
Plus the 2004 election will be over and done with soon. I already
know who I'm voting for (or, more accurately, voting against), and it's my hope that we can get through this one without the
problems and issues of 2000. Really, at this point, I've about heard all I need to - I just want it done so I know if I'll
be writing this from here or Canada next year.
The yard sale season was great - especially
for 'Gracie' ! She was a birthday present, the only Barbie I still wanted. Couldn't afford the brunette I preferred,
so I got this lovely girl, a 1997 Rapunzel (not the movie one) and dyed her hair ! Her eye color has also been changed, and
her little pageboy hairstyle needs a bit of touch-up, but I did that, too. MSBs can wear some kids' clothes and shoes, so
when I found gorgeous, adorable clothes that could fit her - after about $2. worth of bad choices, I developed the eye for
her scale - for pennies, it was a cheap blast !
You'll see more of 'Gracie', wearing clothes from that $99. software pattern (the dress in the photo
is made from that software and a 30c yard sale dress, btw) I mentioned, very soon. I also recently acquired a Swan Lake Castle
($5.) , the Travel Fun Train ($2.), a Cali Girl 'Summer' doll (cheap from eBay), and a short ton of accessories and dolls
and clothes from yard sales throughout the season, so those will be making appearances. The train I'll have to borrow when
Son is in class - he more or less claimed it !
So I appreciate your patience, and hope I can soon bring you some new stuff. Lots of new links, too. I still
have to finish Crissy's reroot (hasn't been touched since March !), photo the new arrivals, and try lots of new things. It's
nice to be able to visit again !
DB, grateful for even the tough stuff.
May 2004
Another month - another intro !
Hiyas ! Welcome, new visitors and friends returning ! It's been
a busy month at Yard Sale Barbie - we're ready for The Big Move this weekend, I cut my collection by another 30 dolls, and
I either sold or gave away nearly every doll I didn't choose to keep. Even the messed-up ones I saved for experiments
are gone. Oddly enough, I did most of the doll redistribution at my yard sale last week ! That's where half of
'em came from in the first place...
There hasn't been time for me to go to any yard sales, and with the move to
a smaller place, I haven't even wanted to. Maybe once this move is over, but I doubt it. I've counted myself darn
fortunate to keep what I already had ! Haven't sewn anything in over a month, and in a few days, I'll be without my
internet connection for over a week. Once I'm back up, I hope to have some new articles, projects, and photos for
you. I just want all this moving jazz over with. I hate packing up all my dolls !
It was sort of difficult to cut another 30. But now I have exactly 75
- including all the sixth-scale ones and the larger five (Toddler Belle, Baby So Beautiful, Timey Tell, Crissy, and as-yet-unnamed
Crissy-sized Asian teen), and if I get a new doll, one of the older ones has to go. This is my own edict. Beloved
Hubby encouraged me to keep 'em all. But recently I've come to realize that the more I have, the less I play, and it
just seems stupid to transfer 15 boxes of dolls and doll stuff that I never play with from one place to another. I could
probably cut another 20 if I just had to. Haven't missed the ones that are gone yet, and its been two weeks since
The Choice.
I've also bought next to nothing in the last two months. Having to sort
and pack 75 dolls and a short ton of props and clothes would probably encourage anyone to watch their purchasing. However
. . .just yesterday I won the 1988 fold-up Barbie Hospital/Doctor's Office for less than $10. shipped on eBay - I'd
been wanting that one for a while. At least I could have that mailed to the new address ! Last month, I got another
Bratz playset (luckily without a doll this time !), an amazingly cool red/black/silver (non-pink) Retro Diner, complete
with jukebox and barstools. I'm sure many of us heave the same 'I wish Mattel made stuff like this' sigh at the $20.
price tag. I guess it's logical to look at playsets instead of more of what I had to sort through before the yard sale
and move, but aside from the still-want-'em late 80s 'Astro Fashions', there's not much left for me to want.
I've been thinking of that, too. Oh, I can look around online and see
stuff that makes me go 'Hmmm !' in that "potential acquisition" tone I know so well, but it often fades within hours.
For a while I drove myself crazy trying to figure out if I really wanted a brunette My Size Barbie - if so, why, and was I
prepared to shell either $100+. for one, or willing to hair-dye a $30. blonde one, and what was I gonna do with it when I
got it ? Finally decided that, if I found one cheap at a yard sale and still wanted it, go for it . . . but otherwise,
no. I'm gonna be pinched for space for Crissy. Where the heck is a My Size gonna go ? Plus, I figured out
that the real reason I wanted one - because I didn't already have one. Umm. Yeah. It was something to look for.
Barbie 'collecting' sort of gets like that. Thanks to online dealers,
doll shows, and eBay, it's easy to find that dress your folks wouldn't buy you 28 years ago. Very easy to 'repurchase'
your childhood, make sure that nobody takes your Tiny Thumbellina from you again. But once you have all that you wanted,
it turns hollow. You either have to go creative to keep the spark, or you may well end up selling all the stuff you
paid so dearly for, as the hunt was much more fun than the have. Heck, most doll stuff's often small . . . easy to buy
lots of it until you have reason to sort through it all. I think my next purchases will be plastic bins for all these
clothes ! After that, well...we'll see if I ever play with what I have before I start drooling over more.
| A
lovely thrift-store find - |
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definitely
a 'limited edition' - lol !
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Beloved Hubby will line our bedroom with bookcases - he makes the best bookcases you've ever seen ! - and that's
where my dolls will be. For a while, they'll just be sitting there, but soon, playsets will be unpacked, and the dressing
frenzy fun will start. I confess, even having the Bunker space, I never went down there to play. It just wasn't very comfortable,
no matter what temperature it was. Since they'll be right there, I hope to play and enjoy them more.
Who knows ? May even start that soap opera I have playing in the back of my head most days ! As long as I don't have
to have midget doll-children or mass-murdering psychologists, it should be fun. Deny me my stuff, and I come up with tons
of ways to use it once I get it back. So I'm looking forward to this chance to re-ignite my doll spark.
Hope yours is burning strong, and that I'll have some articles you'll enjoy up soon !
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April 2004
Hello, and welcome !
Apologies if you're expecting 'DorrieBelle's Doll Bunker',
but for many reasons, that's gone. I didn't update the place for months because I was pretty down on Barbie collecting.
We're moving, so I won't have The Bunker much longer, and I went through the massive collection and cut 60 dolls
that just didn't mean anything to me. Y'see, I was at one point involved in a group that spent big bucks on Barbie and other
dolls, and I felt like I had to keep up. I wanted to do a bit of bragging, too ! While I couldn't spend the cash
they did (and it was often in the triple digits every month !), I could beef up my numbers with yard sale/thrift store finds
so that I'd at least have as many as they did.
Stupid, I know. When one member stated how ugly 'big eyes' dolls
are, and the entire rest of the group agreed, I realized I didn't belong there anymore. I rather liked them, but it's
difficult to relax around folks who avow hatred of what you enjoy. Glad I left when I did - that group has since
moved on to larger-scale Tyler and Gene type dolls, something I'm really not into, while still calling itself a Barbie club.
So I began to look around. Not once did I see anyone happy with their 'collection'. There was always something missing, always
something more they needed. I toured thousands of web pages searching for one person who was happy with what they had.
Instead I found sites that featured images cribbed from Mattel's website instead of photos of their own dolls. I saw even
more pages that showed a collection of boxes. Outnumbering 'em all were pages devoted to buying and selling - more, more
more !!
And when I posted photos of my second-hand finds on the official
Barbie Collector's site, I may as well have shown photos of rotting cabbage for all the response they got. I got to read
about marriages and homes in jeopardy because the collector spent the entire month's budget on high-end dolls and is gonna
do it again next month. One woman gleefully reported having already spent half her expected income for the entire year by
April just on Barbie dolls - then listed the auctions and pre-orders she was in on. I've never been happier that
I don't subscribe to Barbie Bazaar - between the eight-page layouts of SilkStone dolls in collector dolls' clothes
and the snub to the West Philadelphia doll club over their National Convention doll, it has zero appeal. Any content that
dealt with actually *doing* something with a deboxed doll or (gasp !) a playline besides redressing it in other high-end
doll clothing has vanished. I really miss 'Wear It Out' and 'Small Talk', and the fifteen different articles about 80s stuff,
vintage finds, unique customizers, the neat patterns that used to grace each issue. But if they wanna publish glossy studies
of SilkStones in various clothes, well, it's their magazine. I just won't be buying it.
It seems Barbie collecting has become one big game of 'Lookie what I got that you don't' , and I'm sorry,
but I had enough of that in grade school. Mattel is, of course, fueling the fires, limiting production and urging fans to
join 'The Inner Circle' fan club. (sigh) They even have a separate secret clubhouse on their former 'everyone's welcome' message
boards. Oooh, just what I wanted, snubs and cliques. Here's a clue, Mattel - just 'cause I play with dolls doesn't
mean I have the mind of a middle-schooler, okay ? I guess they figure if they get enough people salivating over
anything that rolls off an Asian Pacific State-run doll factory's conveyor belt, they'll be set for the next century.
So I'm pretty alientated from the 'collectors'. I have exactly 100 dolls. Most were purchased at yard
sales, thrift stores, or off eBay, where I usually paid more to ship the dolls than I paid for the dolls themselves. A few
I paid full retail for - at Wal-Mart. I don't want any more. Goss help me, I play with my dolls ! I don't collect them. I
don't use them as investments, or have them for bragging rights, or because I need the most expensive insulation on the
planet for my guest house, boxed dolls. I actually sew clothes for them, pick over piles of used clothes for them, find markdown
$2. Fashion Avenues for them, and tweak Dollar Tree/Dollar General cheap outfits until I think they'll work for them.
Does that really make me so weird ? To read others' websites and the official Mattel one, I'm the biggest
freak on the block ! Buying used dolls is only acceptable for vintage, and even then, just barely. Sewing for dolls is good
if you end up with an antebellum gown so big it makes the doll look like an afterthought, and resembles the result of
a tornado in a lace and Swarovski crystal factory. Using my Real Clothes patterns to make, umm...real clothes for
them is almost a sacrilige ! After all, Mattel makes such nice, real world clothes for them...Yeah. I really want my dolls
to wear Call Girl (ahem) I mean, Cali Girl's tight and tiny outfits. And don't get me started on Ken's clothes - they look
better on my 1978 Kenner Princess Leia doll ! I can't imagine a real guy wearing any of it, save the shoes and boxers.
Maybe I really am alone out here. I like sixth scale dolls, but don't like ball gowns, evening gowns, low-slung
pants with midriff-baring blouses, or paying $$$ for 'adult collector' dolls that are often lower quality than the swimsuit
ones - ooops, silly me for actually taking an $80. doll out of the box once. Should have realized that when Mattel glues,
staples, and ties a doll's head to the box, it's because they don't expect it to ever leave the protective shelter of
the box.. That way, you don't feel gypped when the hair in the back is a chopped up mess, and the velvet skirt is only velvet
in the front. Or the dress is only a dress in the front. I resent this company thinking I'm OK with paying so much for so
little - do they think I'm so stupid I won't notice ? That experiencing such cinchy cost-cutting measures on a high-priced
item won't influence further purchases ? Part of why I buy used is because I want as little of my spending money to go to
Mattel as possible, I'm that ticked at them.
But, hey, I'm so weird, it's not like Mattel cares about me as a consumer. I don't consume enough. So, from
here on, I'll update the site with stuff I've made, dolls I've already got, and the simple enjoyment of a fun hobby. This
may be the one site that has Barbie on it that won't sell you anything, or feature a 'wish list' or photos of dolls in their
boxes. I've never understood the 'wish list' pages - do they expect somebody to come along and grant them ? I'm sorry if you're
here to see those things - but at least there's lots of other pages for you to choose from for that stuff. I'm happy and content
with what I have, and maybe one day, I'll read about someone else who is, too. You, perhaps ? :)
Sincerely, DB
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